Do you wanna ride with me?

5 things that keep me entertained while riding the subway...

• I like to listen to really loud obnoxious "ghetto" rap music on my iPod when sitting next to old ladies especially when I am dressed in professional attire-I like to watch them get uncomfortable. (i.e. Crime Mob, Three Six Mafia, etc...LOL!)
  

• watching people pretend to read their book or magazine to avoid making eye contact with crack heads! One time I saw this girl "reading" her book and it was upside down!
  

• I like reading the newspaper of the person sitting next to me. It's so much fun to turn your head when they look out of their peripherals to see if you were reading their newspaper.

• when people rush to get on the train running and yelling, "hold the doors!" and then they get on and the train doesn't move for another 2 minutes LOL!
  

• watching people who think they are too cool to hold on to the bar all most fall over because of the inertia caused by the train taking off-that's why the bars are there dumb ass, you better hold on!
  

The randomness from your girl full of life, laughter, and love,

Lady A

The Gay Chronicles: The "Buhscue' Me" Story

Why does it seem like gay guys have the best stories to tell? Well, My wonderful gay guy friend told me a great short story that had me rolling! I'd like to share it with you all-I call it the "Buh'scue Me" story. While reading this, picture a gay Spanish male wearing skinny jeans, a black blouse, and gold chains, with a swoop bang covering his right eye telling you this story. And, it goes a little somethin' like this:

"So the other night, my friend and I went out to the club and afterward we went to the drug store because I needed a toothbrush, right? So, like we're in the line for the check out and this black chick walks in and just got right in front of the line, right?, I mean just straight up cut the line and went up to the cashier and was like, 'um, buhscue' me, can you tell me where the pu$$y products be at?' and then the cashier goes, 'What?...you mean...like tampons?' and then the girl goes 'um yeah, the pu$$y products, where they be at?' "

I can't believe that people actually talk like that! Since when have tampons been referred to as pu$$y products??? I was laughing my ass off! I can only imagine what the girl looked like, I'm sure somewhere in the chicken head, gutter-butt category: you know, badly relaxed hair slicked back in a sad weave pony tail with a lot of that brown gel that dries up and flakes...(I think you get the picture, no need to continue). As a result of hearing this story, I now have to find a reason to use the phrase "buhscue' me" during the day just to give myself a quick laugh! You should too...go ahead, try using it in a sentence why don't cha'? It may just make your day. So, there you go people, that's the end of the story and another wonderful classic display of ignorance. Please make sure your kids are paying attention in English class! A mind really is a terrible thing to waste.

*Just in case you don't know, allow me to give you a quick example of how you correctly ask a drug store customer service representative the question Ms. Chicken Head tried to ask:

"Excuse me, could you tell me where I can find the feminine products?"

And there you go! It's that easy people...let's do better.


As always...Keep livin', laughin', and lovin',

Lady A

Tom Ford New Store

Tom Ford

As his new Yves Saint Laurent store opens on 57th Street, Fashion’s king of high-end sensuality.

Tom Ford, creative director of the Gucci Group and designer for both Yves Saint Laurent Rive Gauche and Gucci, knows the impulse well. And just in time for those 90 degree days, he has opened a new Yves Saint Laurent store at 3 East 57th street

a white-lacquered proscenium arch; an ebony sculptural staircase; white satin walls; plenty of horsehair, mohair, and Mongolian lamb upholstery. Then there are those jewel-like clothes, not to mention a whole room for shoes and a special salon dedicated to YSL Beauté products

The place is Amaaaazing!

Oh my goodness his designs are so, so, so fabulous!!!
Don't take my word for it check out the store.

Ms Ray

Copyright Infringement On Beyonce!

Beyonce is in the middle of a copyright infringement lawsuit that caused her record label to pull all CDs featuring the Des'ree remake, "Still in Love (kissing You).

"Superstar Beyonce Knowles has withdrawn the deluxe edition of her latest album B'Day from sale, after British singer Des'ree launched a lawsuit, accusing her of ignoring copyright rules. Des'ree filed a lawsuit in Manhattan, New York last Wednesday, alleging Knowles never obtained proper clearance to use her song Kissing You.

As a result, Knowles' record label bosses have agreed to temporarily halt distribution of the CDs that include the track, reports MTV. The terms stated Knowles couldn't re-title the song or film a video using the track. Knowles recorded the track as Still In Love (Kissing You) for the deluxe edition.

Des'ree is seeking $150,000 in damages."

Short, Short, Shorts Are Hot This Season!!!!

CHIC SHORTS ARE HOT!!!!
That's right ladies and gentlemen short are fab
this year. Nia Long in her fabulous black chic shorts
outfit looking so gorgeous. Everyone should have a pair
in their wardrobe.

Big girls can wear shorts too!
If You're Curvaceously Statuesque Like Jennifer Hudson or Queen Latifah,

You'll Look Great in These

Short Cuts

If you're leggy and proud, you're in luck. 'Short' is a trend in itself this season and as temperatures rise, so too will hemlines! I loved wearing my shorts last summer, and so should you. Find some sexy heels and a very hot top and strut your stuff.

Remember, all eyes will be on you..(wink

Angry Black Woman's Society Memo:

*disclaimer*Ray's gonna be tight at me for this one. Send your friends in Europe my love. It's just jokes, I mean no harm.


I had a few drinks with a friend last night and some how we got on the topic of ball players and successful black men and the whole dating thing. First we just started off by rambling on how we would never seriously date a ball player, and then it drifted into the interracial dating discussion. As we talked, we began to figure out if black women, some black women, are really upset about this. Don't get me wrong, I see a lot of cute brotha's out there with a white girl on their arm and I'm like "damn, she know she got her a fine one", but that's about it. But now that I think about it, I do that when there's a cute brother with a sister, so I guess I really have no strong feelings towards it. But my friend and I talked and we both agreed that most sistas would not have a problem if some white girls would just do the following:

Attention: This is to all the white girls who want to have black girlfriends but can't because they're dating a real brother or a "wonder brotha".

1. wonder brotha- noun
black man or any man of African decent who uses the lame excuse that black women are too difficult and white women are easy in order to justify the reasoning behind dating other races

*To be a black girl's friend after dating a brother, you gotta be hot. Not like Angelina Jolie type a hot, but pretty close. We for some reason like her. Just be beautiful and a little crazy

*You must be fierce in style and confidence. The dress code must be on point. It's not the fact that you're dating a black man that gets most black women, it's the tackiness and lack of style that gets us tight. It's like, stop shopping at the clearance rack at Marshall's and TJ Max, step it up to Loehman's or Off 5th, that's where we go.

*ABSOLUTELY DO NOT SAY THE FOLLOWING, EVER:
"Hey Giirrrl" (in black girl tone), "Hey Girlfriend! (black girl voice)", "I love your hair, I wish my hair could do that", "Have you listened to Jay's latest album", "We must go out together so you can show me how to shake it like "B"!", "I love Denzel Washington (he's fucking off limits, you got us with Micheal Jordan)"........... Will Smith.....eehhhh.....you can love him!...lol..

*Oh yeah, on the confidence part, when you get that notorious evil side grimace from a sista when you pass by with your man, make sure you stare that evil bitch down. Never let them see you sweat! You get way more respect and support that way. Let em know you aint' the one.

*Don't ever say that your own hair looks nappy! (Not because of the Imus bull shit, just because it sounds ridiculous)

*Don't get too comfortable where you feel you can call us "bitches", like on some Paris Hilton type of shit: "You're so my bitch". That ass will get dismissed and embarrassed with a quickness

*Oh yeah, Barak Obama is off limits too!


Just a little help to my white sisters, I come in peace!
For the idiots who feel that every comment made by one black chick stands for all black women, take it easy, I'm woman enough to take the fall for this one.


Peace and Blessings,

Eddie Nicole
Rush Chair of ABWS
AIM: vanitygirlsix

Another Random Thought...

Today I am off of work (...it's funny because I was going to call in sick anyway because I had some things that I needed to do. Luckily they gave us the day off so that kept me from having to get my sick voice together-refer to Eddie Nicole's Corporate Ghetto Post). Anyway, as I enjoy my day off, I have been looking at TV watching the show Engaged and Underage on MTV. This show is so funny and it just reminds me of how it is so not that serious to try and rush to get married. Some of these weddings are wack as hell! OK, forgive me, I guess when you're in love it shouldn't matter blah, blah, blah. But, looking at these weddings got me to thinking about high school relationships and how they usually don't work. You can probably name one couple from your high school graduating class that actually got married-don't get me wrong now, it's a beautiful thing (if you like that type of stuff). However, as I walk around everyday and ride the train to and from work I see these young high school aged couples gazing into each others eyes like they are all in love and I usually chuckle to myself and think "aww, they really think it's going to last..." It also got me thinking about all of the people I know who had "serious" high school relationships (ok, ok, myself included damn!) that didn't work out and they now hate each other. Oh, the memories!

(above photo: what you don't want to look like on your wedding day)

Keep livin', laughin', and lovin',

Lady A

Here we go again.

The past couple weeks I've been really annoyed with men and their approach. So I've compiled a list of things that get under my skin.

1-Being set up with men that are 30+ who ask you to send them a picture. Relaaax my man, Damn!!

2-Men that use the same whack lines on everyone, ALL THE TIME. You know this because, as your telling your friend the story she's like "Oh no! He got me too!!".

3-Men who give you the Color Me Bad "I wanna sex you up" stare. Oh wait... are they trying to seduce us with that (in reality what looks like) "I'm really a psycho killer" stare. Your making me nervous guys. Stop that shit.4-When your on public transportation and a man looses his balance and rubs up against you "by mistake". You have to then shoot him the "PLEASE don't make me cut YOOUU!!! I am too tired to be sittin' in central bookings tonight." look.

5-(This one actually blew me away) How much do you make? I'm like "Why? You about to lose your job? Men... everyone is not looking for a man to support them. I'm not turning down any offers though.

-Valentine
I'm just sayin'

Corporate Ghetto

If you have done at least 4 of any of these listed, then you my friend are in fact corporate ghetto. I found this on mediatakeout. I have done at least 7 of these or more. I have highlighted what I have done and continue to do so ya'll won't feel so bad.

1. You have at least one drawer/cabinet that contains more food than office supplies.
2. Not only do you know all the security guards, janitors and cafeteria
workers, one of them has asked you out on a date.
3. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and plan what you are doing for the weekend.
4. The only time your man/woman picks you up from work is on payday.
5. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because you didn't answer your phone quickly enough.
6. You paint your nails at your desk.
7. When you are on a personal call you, laugh so loud your co-workers on the other side of the office come and ask you what's so funny.
8. You have pictures on your wall with you and your friends at the club.
9. To beat the system, you have codes for personal calls that let's someone know to call you right back. (For example, let the phone ring two times and call me right back)
10. You give your out-of-town friends your company's 1-800 number.
11. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story several times out loud.
12. Coworkers ask about your father's surgery that required you to miss work for days - and you don't even know who your daddy is.
13. You use the company's postage machine to stamp your personal mail.
14. Your kid's school supplies all have your company's insignia on them.
15. You call in sick on payday Friday and send your cousin to pick up your paycheck.
16. You contribute $1 to the office Christmas party, eat the most food and take a platter of lunch meat and potato salad home to your family for dinner.
17. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk, they have to wipe the chicken grease off the handset.
18. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on Thursday.
19. You tell off your supervisor and a couple of other coworkers on a regular basis - and wonder why you haven't been promoted.
20. You get your haircut/hair done on lunch and come back two hours later. Then you ask "Was anybody looking for me?".
21. You make iced tea out of the free hot tea at work.
22. You come to work on Fridays dressed for the club.
23. Your kids call your job and say to the operator, "Let me speak to my Mama".
24. You are sitting there reading this instead of getting your work done.
25. You don't officially start working in the morning until you read Vanity Pages.

Dope Fiend Rentals and Vagina Power...

Yes it sounds crazy, but I'll explain. Actually I don't understand it myself...but here's the story... So I was talking to a friend of mine and he told me about how he needed to get a "dope fiend rental" for the weekend. With him being a person who doesn't smoke, snort, or inject any drugs, naturally I asked, "Dope fiend rental? What the hell is that?" (He was really referring to renting a car from a place like Enterprise, but he used the term to be funny, so he began to explain). He told me that in the "hood" people buy a dope fiend a "rock" in exchange for their car for a day, a weekend, or however many days they need it. I immediately started laughing hard and then thought about, "well what if they wreck the poor crack heads car?" He said that was the benefit of a "dope fiend" rental. You can "F it up" and give it back and the guy can't say anything about it or if he does, you can just buy him another rock and he'll soon forget all about it.


Now you may be wondering, "how can a crack head afford a car?" Here's the deal, I am from the south, and everyone in the south either has a car, knows someone with a car and/or probably has access to it (there's not as much public transportation there as say, NYC). So, anyway, have any of you ever heard of something like this? This is hilarious to me yet disturbing at the same time. Helping the poor crack head support his habit all because you need to borrow a car! LMAO!

Now on to Vagina Power

So there is this public access show in Atlanta with these two ladies; a mother and her daughter where they discuss...well...you'll have to listen to this for yourself. You may have seen this before but, here's one of the many lessons you may learn, "Don't let every man spank your bottom and talk to you all kind of ways." and "If you really want to earn your man you need to learn your man". In other words, this is good 'ol sista' girl banter at it's finest! As funny as it is, some of you ladies may need to take notes LOL. If you are at work, you may want to plug your earphones in, this is a good one!




Keep Loving and Laughing,

Lady A