I would say have a happy holiday, but ya'll know "we" just have a couple of "days off". These made up Caucasian bread holidays really don't make a difference to us...just gives us a reason to have the neighborhoods and blocks smelling like B-B-Q for the next two weeks, while everyone else is going kayaking and deep sea diving in Lake Pontchartrain somewhere. So have a great few days off!
(Above) Illustration by Eddie NicoleItem of the week-cartier bracelet and hammer pants
Cheers to us when we get old!
Remember looking through old 60 and 70's photos of your parents and family members in amazement. Just the glimpse of your parents in their 20's enjoying life for that moment made you wish you were born at least twenty years earlier. People were so fly black then. Excluding celebrities and the wannabees, like nowadays. It seemed as if folks back in tha day stepped out on a regular and dressed fresh just in case something were to pop off. Like we say at VP. "If you stay ready...You aint gotta get ready!" That's some real shit and it was the way of life.
I was checking out some old photos of my mother when she was in her prime from college onto newlywed status, and she was such a sex pot. She wore the skimpy bathing suits and the tight ass jeans with fitted jersey tops. I can say that at the age of 26, my mother was flyer than me, and that being said without a wince of apprehension.
My pleasure has always been for years to check out what other people wear. From the horrendous to the exceptional, to just right out...oooh my God I hate her, I'm stealing that entire outfit. I've always been fascinated with the way people carry themselves...the walk, the talk, the gestures. It's the whole swagger thing, that Puffy so eloquently added to the urban lexicon, that I embrace. Just call me the observer of the cloth. I looked up to people like my mother and what she represented as a woman. Effortlessly well dressed, head up high, and oozing with sex appeal was the lady I proudly call my mother. I don't even think she realized it. So let's fast forward to 2007.... Unfortunately, I've been saddened....She refuses to get rid of her Circa 1992 leopard hammer pants that she loves to wear to the grocery store and I don't know why. She has the nerve to get pissed when she runs into somebody she knows in the grocery store while wearing the pants. When I chastise her about it, her reply is always: "They're leopard and they're comfortable, that counts for something." Nooo it counts for nothingness!!! Cut those damn pants and make furniture polishin' rags out of em.....PLEEAAAZZE!
What happened to the sexiness that was our beloved parents? Is the reasoning behind this lackluster display of personal presentation that they work so hard and really have no time or the energy to want to look sexy? I guess the way Bush has royally fucked the economy...the baby boomers can't even retire, let alone try to dress fly. They're still trying to support our broke asses while we try to figure shit out, find jobs, and graduate from school while simultaneously saving for their own retirement...it's sad, but it's the truth. My mother has always had great style in my eyes (minus the hammer pants) and that's an extra reason why I love her... regardless of the raggedy robe that she has to hold together cause' the zipper's broken...I will always remember her at her pinnacle of high fashion. And I appreciate the swagger that rubbed off onto myself...I'm so blessed!
But my father is another story. To this day, my dad swears he's the flighest nigga' around. He would still wear butterfly collar shirts if he could find them. He still embarrasses the hell out of my brother and I on special occasions (when he's invited) with those open silk shirts of his. He purposely keeps the top two buttons unclosed to bear his old grey haired taco meat of a chest ..... Why? I know why, cause he still thinks he's SEXY...motherfukr for what!
It's hilarious talkin about it, but not so funny when this negroe comes walkin down the aisle at your high school graduation wearing a white Tony Montana suit, with the open chess silk shirt, with brown sandals looking for a seat....WTF!!... and then when you go to PROGRAD or the after-graduation lock-in at your school and the one dude that always clowns starts asking random people, "Who's daddy was that in the white Tony Montana suit?" knowing it was my dad.
"Nigga that's my daddy! You saw us taking pictures! Where's your bucktooth father! Didn't see him around, at least mine showed up..."*That's exactly what I said too. I still remember that. I deserved to get cracked on, cause I would have been shit talkin for days if one of my friend's fathers showed up looking like Leon Phelps.
Obviously he has issues, hence the reason my parents have been divorced for over 17 years.
So how will our generation represent. What will Beyonce, Rhianna and Ashanti look like when they're 40 plus? Black folks are getting plastic surgery like crazy, so who knows? Probably a dash of their parents, a scoop of Latoya Jackson, with the elasticity of Star Jones. It really comes down to us regular cool folks to continue the "Black Don't Crack Phenomena". What I have learned from my experience with stylish elders is to stay CLASSIC...and the sexy will come. Not saying that you can't effortlessly be sexy after 50. It's when you TRY to be sexy after 50 is the problem. That kind of sexy never comes across well. Some of my guy friends still ask me "How's your sexy ass momma?"...and that never bothered me, because they know she doesn't TRY to be sexy....it's all about the imagination! But if you have guy friends coming over just to see how low she can go on a random day, that's just ghetto inappropriate foolishness.
The truth is that a plus 50 can't be sexy with sweaty saggin tits while wearing a tube-top. Nor can a plus 50 ever be sexy while wearing tight nut hugger jogging tights knowing that when he sits on the toilet his nuts will more than likely splash in the water...a literal fucking tea bag! *You'll get it later :) If you got all that going on, that means you're too old to be wearing certain shit! Therefore I feel there should be a 75% class with a 25% sexy dress code for the plus 40's of the world.
OUT OF RESPECT FOR MY ELDERS, I USE THE WORD CLASSIC. WHEN US YOUNGINS' OF THE 80's GET OLD, I FEEL WE SHOULD STAY CLASSIC! FOR CLASSIC IS ALWAYS SEXY. HERE ARE SOME GREAT EXAMPLES OF PLUS 50's
Carolina Herrera: I swear this lady looks better and better every year. She is the most stylish lady around. She's the poster woman for white collar shirts, it's her signature piece, she wears them with everything. Ladies, after a certain age a classic white collar shirt and great slacks can take you a long way!
Cool old guy with a the red vest. It's all about the hint of color! Kind of Sexy!
Lauren Hutton has aged very well and just as classic as ever! Sexyiness
My friends and I always say, "I'm a stay fly forever". I really can't see myself falling off....walking around with open toe sandals with white socks, wearing family reunion t-shirts in public... Naah I dont see it! But you never know! I heard that after a certain age some women don't wear blue jeans. Now that's some grown shit. I couldn't imagine not ever wearing jeans...hell that's apart of my daily wardrobe, but it may be a good idea. Now that I think about it, my mother doesn't wear jeans!
Anyway, here's to the old folks who gracefully keep it sexy in their own geriatric way...lol
He looks like that could hold a great and wise conversation. Wise=Sexy
photo credit:thesartorialistCan't forget Lady Di
Yeah that's Tina at the ripe age of freakin' 58. The epitomy of "black don't crack"!
So with that said. To my black people, the earth is falling apart and by the time we hit our 50's we may not age at the full potential of our ancestors. We have to keep the "Black Don't Crack" phenomena going. Let's Continue to Keep these other folks guessing!
Here are some tips:
1. Use sunscreen, and always apply moisturizer wiping from the face to the scalp
2. CoCo butter does work. I've been using it on my ass since high school and I have no stretch marks...well maybe a few, but not at all noticable
3. Drink water and exercise
4. Brush your teeth with a little peroxide, it keeps the grill white...especially if you smoke and/or drink coffee and tea
5. Smile sometimes. Black folks walk around mad as hell. It doesn't hurt to smile and be nice to a person, even if they had you kickin' lions at work.
Be sure to pass this post on to your friends at work....we gotta look out for each other for the sake of our reputation. For when our kids tell the world about what we once were, we wanna leave a great legacy. Keep up the sexy!
Peace and Blessings,
Eddie Nicole
By the way, If you ever wanna get a cool expensive gift for someone, word on the street is that the Cartier Love Bracelet is the hot new charity gift. The proceeds go to...I'm sure another "Save the Africans Charity". So spend some money on a great cause...if you got it like that! Or just spend it on me!
Peace and Blessings,
Eddie Nicole
