Wednesday, July 11, 2007

...to love, cherish, and kill the roaches!

In celebration of the many weddings that took place on 07/07/07 I am honoring wedding vows. And, I took it upon myself to add one more important duty that should be included in wedding vows (with an emphasis on the mans part). Here's why:

I was at my friends apartment the other day and we were looking at TV. Her boyfriend came over because he had the Martin Season 2 DVD and we all wanted to watch it. So we're looking at TV laughing our asses off and he notices something that we don't. He keeps a close eye on this "thing" and gets kind of still. We notice that he isn't laughing as much any more and my friend says, "babe, what's wrong?" and he says, "Uh, I don't know if I want to tell you..." "What do you mean?" she says, "tell me, what is it? is it a bug?" "Well, uh, nah baby...ok...I told you that y'all wouldn't want to know...but I'll tell you...there's a mouse in the house." Now, being the girlie chicks we are, we scream at the top of our lungs! "AGGGGHHHHHH!!! OH SHIT!! OH MY GOD A MOUSE!!!" and we bolt out the door. Now, I grew up running track from the age of 5 all the way through my sophomore year in college and I don't think that I have ever ran that fast before!! My girl never did any sports and she was right there with me...when I tell you we got outside in a matter of 3 seconds, I'm not playin' with you! So we are freaking out outside and we get ourselves amped up to come back in and make sure boyfriend was okay. Well, we get in and boyfriend looks like he just had an all out war with Mickey Mouse. Boxes were moved out the way, the sofa was on the other side of the room. We asked him frantically, "Where is it?! Where is the mouse?!" and he said calmly, "I killed it baby." My girl asked, "well, how did u kill it, where is it?" He said calmly, "I stomped it." "You what?!" I asked, "You stomped it?...Like, with your foot?!" He again, said calmly, "yeah." My girl and I immediately laughed so hard in amazement because he had on some Adidas flip flop type shoes. At that moment, we realized just how gangsta this dude was! He killed this mouse damn near with his bare foot so that we wouldn't be scared. And, the coolest part about it all was that he never looked afraid. He tackled that task like a man! How dope is that? It sucks that there was a mouse in the apartment altogether, but living in NYC, having Mickey come to visit is not uncommon. And just so you know, the Orkin man has since come to pay a visit to her place and I'm pretty sure none of Mickeys patnas will be coming over.

I told this story to say this...Being a man must really be annoying at times because you guys have to kill all the bugs, rodents, and other vermin that come around. Do guys ever get tired of taking on that responsibility? Or do you guys take on the task like a champion, like "boyfriend" did? My poor dad being the only man of the house full of women was on bug duty ALL the time. That occasional roach that invaded our space was most definitely going to be finished by "the punisher" aka "Daddy". I'm sure it's the same for some of ya'll and maybe "the punisher" in your family was your big/younger brother or even your gangsta ass Mama! (I know some females aren't as scared of bugs as I am..so I gotta give ya'll credit!)

So I have come to the conclusion that if a dude does not kill a bug or whatever creature it is in the vicinity, that he is now officially a straight up PUNK! Putting it outside is not enough, finish that mutherf***er! And, I have made an amendment to the wedding vows too...ladies, those of you getting married this year should consider this if your man has ever left you in the room with a bug or whatever: when it's the man's turn to say "...to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death..." he should say instead,"...to love and to cherish, kill the roaches, mice, and other vermin that may make their way into the house unexpectedly and then call the Orkin man, until we are parted by death." That's not asking for too much is it? I didn't think so!

live. laugh. love. Lady A :)

$500 18k gold sneakers


UPPER ECHELON SHOE”
These are the $500 shoes Diddy wore to the B.E.T awards . ( It's been over a week after the B. E. T awards and people are still talking about these sneakers. How do you feel about these new sneakers, so is it worth it?) What's you opinion? They look like some regular ole bo bo’s to me…. but they're the “in sneakers” among celbs right now. I guess its the 18 karat gold laces , that look like a little cuban link . It 's just a gold chain used as shoelaces in sneakers. (Do you have an old chain around the house and a pair of sneakers? Just a thought.)


Expect to see the $500 sneakers showing up on some other showy feet — Grandmaster Flash and Mariah Carey, who purchased a pair for LA Reid’s son Aaron as a present, are also said to be fans of the brand. Nicholas McDonnough, manager of the East Hampton store Blue & Cream, where Mariah ordered the $500 shoes, tells PEOPLE, “If you’re into sneakers you want something really different and new — and nobody’s seen everything like that before. [People are] pretty impressed when they see it.” Want a pair for yourself? Click here to find a retailer nearest.

Ms Ray

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Sunday morning

Since I was a child Sunday mornings have been somewhat ritualistic. Getting up early in the morning to wait for the newspaper guy to come to each floor yelling "Newwws Papeeerr!!". The newspaper guy just so happened to be world famous D.J. Ron G. (LMAO), which made the experience that much funnier now that I think about it. I would then run to the door and give him my dollar or whatever it cost at that time. Since I was always the first one with the paper, I got to take my time and tear it apart like I always did. The news was the first to go. The only parts worth keeping were the comics and the coupons. Which leads me to the reason I'm rambling on in the first place.
Cutting coupons has been a hobby of mine since my youth. I do this for absolutely no reason at all. I never use them but, I continue to cut. Honestly, I don't get it. Why would I use a coupon for one dollar off of two items that damn near cost four dollars each? Where's the savings?
This Sunday when I began to look through the coupon section (for no reason) I came upon an advertisement for SPAM. We all know and love it. As much shit as people talk about SPAM and all it's salty mysterious goodness, You would think they've never had it and wouldn't touch the stuff with a ten foot pole. However, I'm taking a stand for SPAM in honor of thier 70th anniversary. I've been a vegetarian for the past ten years and I'm not gonna front, I use to bust some SPAM down. Sliced thin, fried, on toast, with a little mustard, WHAAAT!!! That was the shit. As I took my stroll down memory lane I decided to visit the SPAM website. This has to be one of the most entertaining food product sites I've ever been to, I think it's the only food product site I've ever been to. SPAM has created a site that is not only visually appealing, they're making fun of themselves. They also have all sorts of SPAM memorabilia and get this they even have a SPAM museum. I know what you all must be thinking, "This girl has way too much time on her hands" and your right. For all those who are like me, at home or at work with too much time on thier hands visit your long time favorite luncheon meat at www.spam.com.
Hey! Check out the can dedicated to the Monty Python play "SPAMALOT"

Peace oooouuutt!

-Valentine