Just a reminder. The ABWS townhall meeting has been canceled due to the strikes at hair salons across the country. Stay tuned for the rescheduled date!
Since I got that out the way,
What the hell is this negroe talking about?
I found this on a fellow blogger's site Beauty in Baltimore
Dear Mr. Negroe,
What's the problem? Are you joking? Because if this is a joke, you had me rollin like a motherfker. First of all my brotha, we gotta work on your camera game, cause if you're for real, then we need an ounce of professionalism. I apologize to you for all the black girls that teased you all throughout your adolescents. That's just our way of giving back to all the years that we were called nappy headed, flat chested, chicken headed, black as night, and every rude term of endearment by you guys. We knew it was just jokes, so we didn't sweat it. I'm sure you were called African booty scratcher and pink lips so you should understand. So now you're like 35 and living in what looks to be the country by the way your hair is glossing, and you still have your heart on your sleeve. That's kinda lame if you ask me. Hopefully you do have a career. I would hate to find out that you have more of these "Yessa Mam" tapes in your archives, cause' if so, I will personally send you a job application with an extra stamp. The real truth is that black women love anyone who genuinely loves them... Plain and simple. It's not fair to say that all black women have nothing to do with black men, it's just for some reason your cornyness will not allow us to look in your direction. Actually while I'm writing this, I can only listen and not look at your video...real talk.
And I really don't think wonderbread cares whether or not we are taking their men. They're wasting their own time with you. Actually it's never been a matter of us taking we've always been wanted...two words- Strom Thurmond
Take note:
We are way too busy and too fly to put up with the shear lack of swagger coming from your corner. So I hope this was a joke and you were just in need of some black womanly love. And guess what? For the first time in all your life you got the attention from one of the flyest black girls around and hopefully all of the lovely people who will respond to this post. So feel blessed. By the way, if you happen to read this, there is job opening at my firm. Maybe a sister can give you a hand, since we're non threatening and all.
Peace and Blessings to the guy sweating like a slave!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Angry Black Women's Society Townhall Meeting:
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Ms Ray's Latest News: Gotta Love Spike, Isaiah Makes a Comeback, Fake Degrees
USA TODAY-Spike Lee announced plans Tuesday to make a movie about the struggle against Nazi occupiers in Italy during World War II that he hopes will highlight the contribution of black American soldiers who fought and died to liberate Europe.
The film will spotlight the courage of black soldiers who, despite suffering discrimination back home, offered a contribution that has so far gone largely unnoticed in other Hollywood movies, Lee said.
"We have black people who are fighting for democracy who at the same time are classified as second-class citizens," the 50-year-old filmmaker said. "That is why I'd like to do a film to show how these brave black men, despite all the hardship they were going through, still pushed that aside and fought for the greater good."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Isaiah Is Bionic
Tuesday, July 17, 2007; 12:01 AM
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actor Isaiah Washington, fired last month from the ABC hit medical drama "Grey's Anatomy" after reportedly making an anti-gay slur, has landed a new role, and a development deal, with rival network NBC.
Washington will guest star in five episodes of NBC's upcoming sci-fi action drama "Bionic Woman," a 21st-century remake of the 1970s series that starred Lindsay Wagner and was itself a spinoff of "The Six Million Dollar Man."( What's that old saying? Oh yeah, I remember, " When one door close another will open". how true it is.) I wish him well in his new role and good luck.
Washington will play a mysterious figure who is brought into the enigmatic scientific organization behind the "bionics" that transform Jamie, and whose own agenda is unclear as he instructs her on how to handle her new abilities."He's a wonderful actor and a great performer, and he became available," said NBC's new chief programmer, Ben Silverman, who was installed as the network's co-chairman of entertainment in late May with Marc Graboff.
Washington, who co-starred as a surgeon, Dr. Preston Burke, on "Grey's Anatomy," was dismissed from the show in June by the producers at ABC Television Studios.
Last year, Washington sparked controversy after a heated argument on the "Grey's" set in which he reportedly referred to co-star T.R. Knight as a "faggot."
Washington denied the report. But Knight, who later came out as gay, said Washington had used the slur.
Despite his public denials, Washington, 43, later met with gay and lesbian groups in Los Angeles, entered counseling and filmed a public service announcement denouncing hurtful speech.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Accused mastermind Andrique Baron, who formerly served as head of admissions for the college, and Michael Cherner, the former head of the computer department, were charged along with a "bag man," and four alleged purchasers of altered grades and fake degrees have been indicted. For at least four years, a pair of greedy college administrators pocketed hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes from former students who wanted to change F's into A's on their Touro transcripts, prosecutors charge.
But the accusations get even worse. The two administrators are also charged with awarding fictitious degrees to "graduates" who had never once stepped foot in any of the New York-based international college's 29 locations.
Investigators said that for prices ranging from $3,000 to $25,000, students could purchase doctored transcripts and non-students could buy degrees up to a master's.
A Department of Education spokeswoman said three New York special education teachers accused of paying $3,000 for graduate degrees will be reassigned to non-teaching positions in the fall until the investigation is resolved.
Baron's lawyer, Ronald Aiello, claimed his client is innocent of the charges.
Ms Ray
See You can get anything here in the NYC!!!
Hump Day: It Was More Like Bamboozled
Cleo-Lesbian character played by Queen LatifahWhat do you call when you get hit on constantly by androgynous lesbians? I feel there are many unsung straight girls out there who have yet to tell the story of Triumph after getting hit on by the Cleo's of the world. I have balls and no shame people, so ya'll know I got a story.
I can say that I am an official MUFF MAGNET. That's what I'm calling it for this post. I swear, I don't know what it is, but I've got hit on one too many times by women. It would actually be resourceful if I WAS A LESBIAN.
I wonder what is it about myself that attracts them. Is it the hair, my charming smile, my sexy boyish looks. Hell...I thought I was a girly girl. But maybe that's it. I'm cool like a dude but I'm......never mind, it's useless to try to figure out.
I constantly here these "I wish a motherfker would" comments from my straight guy friends who continuously get hit on by homosexuals, including my boyfriend. Granted my guy is cute and slim with a decent build, so it's totally understandable why he constantly gets dude stalked from time to time, but how does it really feel as a straight man to get hit on by our gay brothers?
Are they really that offended? or Do they feel slightly flattered that a gay guy would even take interest. At this day in age, for a gay man to seek interest in another, one must have a gym membership, a sick wardrobe, and a good job. So in my opinion, straight guys who get hit on by gays should not feel that offended.
I can honestly say that my man handles the occasional "looks" pretty well. Half of the time he doesn't even realize the overt sexual passes until I tell him...and even then he's in denial. I love it because it's pure comedy for me. I can say that I'm fortunate to be with someone who respects the importance of my gay guy friends. Although I have to give him a quick pep talk from time to time before an occasional outing, he knows I have a football team of homosexual friends and they aint' going nowhere. I have no time for his trivial banter every time we go to brunch or an outing with one of my "fairies"... as he likes to call them...cause' he's scared they're gonna try and flirt with him. I would always mock him and blow off his complaints until....I started to reminisce! Did I forget about how I felt when I first got hit on..........?
I have a slew of stories on my run-ins with the Cleo's of the world. It's odd that I have more than enough stories than I would like to admit, but it's real.
Come role with me as I sift through my mental Rolodex. This Story is a Classic.
It was the year 2002. I was a Sophomore in college in the greater Austin area. It was one of my first experiences on the notorious 6th street in Austin, Texas. Picture Bourbon street with less jazz, a sprinkle of New York's lower east side, along with drunk Texas college students and BAMN! There's 6th street...nothin' like it. I was amazed because I felt so free at that time in my 21 year old life. I was finally out of my comfort zone. Immersed with the opportunities to consume large amounts of alcohol, meet great people, all while acquiring a great edumacation. I was in it to win it. It was the ultimate college experience!
After hours of studying and cramming, my girls and I bar hopped and clowned on 6th street of Austin. We ate greasy pizza, and flirted with football players. Unfortunately, that's just what college girls do in Texas. As an attractive, naive, young female...flirting with the athletes had great benefits.... hopefully you could get into all the parties free and if you really know what you're doing maybe become a future NFL wife (Go Rocky!) or a notorious groupie...just gotta play your cards right..lol
As we flirted and introduced ourselves to the brawny ball players, they invited us to a party at this hot spot at the time called the Colorado Room. We were so hype because #1 We were getting in for free and #2 The most important at the time...Free Drinks. There was no sweat off the Ball player's backs because Austin and the entire state of Texas immortalizes football players. Needless to say, they didn't have to pay for shit. So we got the for real hook-up on drinks and the VIP section.
Everybody from UT's campus was there, including Black Greeks, male and female ball players, boppers, male groupies...it was crazy.
So we're in the party stuntin'... Lookin at females like...yeah we here..let's get the party started! We were total snobs.
We're on the dance floor getting down. We're tipsy...Well at least I was...and there were potential husbands all over the place.
*****Here's where the story takes a drastic turn*****
All I needed was for Jack Nicholson's ass to finish the night off with a classic line "Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?" ...."The Jokes on you...Bitch!"
I looked at my girls and they already knew it was time to get the hell out. As we casually, but shamefully exited the club, I saw a group of sorority girls snickering. I wasn't sure if it was about me, but I felt like the whole party was laughing at my expense. Thank God those girls weren't in the sorority I was interested in, cause that would have been the end of my pledging dreams.
Wrong!.... All I can say was about a year later.... Hell Night for me was a total bitch!!...
nough' said!
I say all of that to say this.
Did I Triumph? I think so. I didn't react the way most would expect. Although to this day I feel that incident was in violation of a person's right to choose what sex they want to grind with on the dance floor, I feel just in my actions. I calmly smiled and played that shit off real smooth... I walked away. Hell what was I gonna do? fight the entire basketball team...not the way my girls were looking behind me...and I mean they were waaay behind. They were scared shitless. They figured something would pop off and we were gonna have to fight the entire girl's basketball team...that would have been a sad sight I must admit. I'm way to smooth to fight husky girls with cankles that I know I can't defeat. See, when one faces adversity and senses a larger loss than one has already gained, you can not react in an ignorant manner... That would result in my situation being "gayer" and even more awkward than it originally was. Just accept the lesson, take the losses and move on.
So with this story, I say to my friends....Just Be Cool! Karma's A Bitch.
It's not copacetic to snob at parties, I learned my lesson!
Wherever that deformed man is...I hope you may one day read this classic piece of journalism. I was Unmoved by you're fraudulent actions, and I still stand to say that......I hope you're boobs grow into huge melons so even a sports bra can't hide it. That should cease any confusion to any unsuspecting young women who crosses you're path.
Now, I ask my friends in the blogger world, what would you have done in that situation.
Signing Off,
Eddie Nicole "I Shall Not Be Moved"
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
...to love, cherish, and kill the roaches!
In celebration of the many weddings that took place on 07/07/07 I am honoring wedding vows. And, I took it upon myself to add one more important duty that should be included in wedding vows (with an emphasis on the mans part). Here's why:
I was at my friends apartment the other day and we were looking at TV. Her boyfriend came over because he had the Martin Season 2 DVD and we all wanted to watch it. So we're looking at TV laughing our asses off and he notices something that we don't. He keeps a close eye on this "thing" and gets kind of still. We notice that he isn't laughing as much any more and my friend says, "babe, what's wrong?" and he says, "Uh, I don't know if I want to tell you..." "What do you mean?" she says, "tell me, what is it? is it a bug?" "Well, uh, nah baby...ok...I told you that y'all wouldn't want to know...but I'll tell you...there's a mouse in the house." Now, being the girlie chicks we are, we scream at the top of our lungs! "AGGGGHHHHHH!!! OH SHIT!! OH MY GOD A MOUSE!!!" and we bolt out the door. Now, I grew up running track from the age of 5 all the way through my sophomore year in college and I don't think that I have ever ran that fast before!! My girl never did any sports and she was right there with me...when I tell you we got outside in a matter of 3 seconds, I'm not playin' with you! So we are freaking out outside and we get ourselves amped up to come back in and make sure boyfriend was okay. Well, we get in and boyfriend looks like he just had an all out war with Mickey Mouse. Boxes were moved out the way, the sofa was on the other side of the room. We asked him frantically, "Where is it?! Where is the mouse?!" and he said calmly, "I killed it baby." My girl asked, "well, how did u kill it, where is it?" He said calmly, "I stomped it." "You what?!" I asked, "You stomped it?...Like, with your foot?!" He again, said calmly, "yeah." My girl and I immediately laughed so hard in amazement because he had on some Adidas flip flop type shoes. At that moment, we realized just how gangsta this dude was! He killed this mouse damn near with his bare foot so that we wouldn't be scared. And, the coolest part about it all was that he never looked afraid. He tackled that task like a man! How dope is that? It sucks that there was a mouse in the apartment altogether, but living in NYC, having Mickey come to visit is not uncommon. And just so you know, the Orkin man has since come to pay a visit to her place and I'm pretty sure none of Mickeys patnas will be coming over.
I told this story to say this...Being a man must really be annoying at times because you guys have to kill all the bugs, rodents, and other vermin that come around. Do guys ever get tired of taking on that responsibility? Or do you guys take on the task like a champion, like "boyfriend" did? My poor dad being the only man of the house full of women was on bug duty ALL the time. That occasional roach that invaded our space was most definitely going to be finished by "the punisher" aka "Daddy". I'm sure it's the same for some of ya'll and maybe "the punisher" in your family was your big/younger brother or even your gangsta ass Mama! (I know some females aren't as scared of bugs as I am..so I gotta give ya'll credit!)
So I have come to the conclusion that if a dude does not kill a bug or whatever creature it is in the vicinity, that he is now officially a straight up PUNK! Putting it outside is not enough, finish that mutherf***er! And, I have made an amendment to the wedding vows too...ladies, those of you getting married this year should consider this if your man has ever left you in the room with a bug or whatever: when it's the man's turn to say "...to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death..." he should say instead,"...to love and to cherish, kill the roaches, mice, and other vermin that may make their way into the house unexpectedly and then call the Orkin man, until we are parted by death." That's not asking for too much is it? I didn't think so!
live. laugh. love. Lady A :)
$500 18k gold sneakers
“UPPER ECHELON SHOE”
These are the $500 shoes Diddy wore to the B.E.T awards . ( It's been over a week after the B. E. T awards and people are still talking about these sneakers. How do you feel about these new sneakers, so is it worth it?) What's you opinion? They look like some regular ole bo bo’s to me…. but they're the “in sneakers” among celbs right now. I guess its the 18 karat gold laces , that look like a little cuban link . It 's just a gold chain used as shoelaces in sneakers. (Do you have an old chain around the house and a pair of sneakers? Just a thought.)
Expect to see the $500 sneakers showing up on some other showy feet — Grandmaster Flash and Mariah Carey, who purchased a pair for LA Reid’s son Aaron as a present, are also said to be fans of the brand. Nicholas McDonnough, manager of the East Hampton store Blue & Cream, where Mariah ordered the $500 shoes, tells PEOPLE, “If you’re into sneakers you want something really different and new — and nobody’s seen everything like that before. [People are] pretty impressed when they see it.” Want a pair for yourself? Click here to find a retailer nearest.
Ms Ray
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Sunday morning
Since I was a child Sunday mornings have been somewhat ritualistic. Getting up early in the morning to wait for the newspaper guy to come to each floor yelling "Newwws Papeeerr!!". The newspaper guy just so happened to be world famous D.J. Ron G. (LMAO), which made the experience that much funnier now that I think about it. I would then run to the door and give him my dollar or whatever it cost at that time. Since I was always the first one with the paper, I got to take my time and tear it apart like I always did. The news was the first to go. The only parts worth keeping were the comics and the coupons. Which leads me to the reason I'm rambling on in the first place.
Cutting coupons has been a hobby of mine since my youth. I do this for absolutely no reason at all. I never use them but, I continue to cut. Honestly, I don't get it. Why would I use a coupon for one dollar off of two items that damn near cost four dollars each? Where's the savings?
This Sunday when I began to look through the coupon section (for no reason) I came upon an advertisement for SPAM. We all know and love it. As much shit as people talk about SPAM and all it's salty mysterious goodness, You would think they've never had it and wouldn't touch the stuff with a ten foot pole. However, I'm taking a stand for SPAM in honor of thier 70th anniversary. I've been a vegetarian for the past ten years and I'm not gonna front, I use to bust some SPAM down. Sliced thin, fried, on toast, with a little mustard, WHAAAT!!! That was the shit. As I took my stroll down memory lane I decided to visit the SPAM website. This has to be one of the most entertaining food product sites I've ever been to, I think it's the only food product site I've ever been to. SPAM has created a site that is not only visually appealing, they're making fun of themselves. They also have all sorts of SPAM memorabilia and get this they even have a SPAM museum. I know what you all must be thinking, "This girl has way too much time on her hands" and your right. For all those who are like me, at home or at work with too much time on thier hands visit your long time favorite luncheon meat at www.spam.com.
Hey! Check out the can dedicated to the Monty Python play "SPAMALOT"
Peace oooouuutt!
-Valentine
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Kim Finally Walked Out On Diddy?
DIDDY BABY MAMA MOVES OUT
Did Kim really leave P Diddy?, Did she really get sick in tired of being sick and tired. Well if you haven't heard, Kim left Sean Combs. (Again!!) See ladies, if he don't marry you in two years dump him, and please don't have a baby without the ring. That's just my opinion. She just look stupid now and used up, like a bed warmer. But, we all knew it was for show. ( His confession of his love in Essence and blah, blah, blah.)Sources inside Combs' camp told Page Six that Porter moved out of his apartment here and she isn't going back.( This is so embarrassing for Kim. She really looks like a fool!) He dumped her twice for a women with a career.
"Kim is in Louisiana filming a movie right now, and when it's done she's moving to L.A.," the insider said.
Porter has already bought a posh pad in Beverly Hills for her and her four children - three of whom, Christian, 10, and twins D'Lila and Jessie, 7 months, are Diddy's. ( She got enough child support money)
"She is focusing on her career as a model and actress and raising her children," our source said. "They are the best of friends, but they just can't be together right now."
This doesn't mean Combs and Porter won't ever be together again. They split for several years when he was dating Jennifer Lopez, but as soon as he and J.Lo broke up, Combs went right back to Porter.
Rumors of a rift between the two started circulating earlier this year when, right after the December birth of the twins, Combs stayed out almost every night till the wee hours of the morning partying with Sienna Miller. The two once stayed out so late partying at her hotel room that they even caught breakfast together in the morning.
The friendship between Combs and Miller was rekindled last weekend when he went to London to perform in the Princess Diana Memorial Concert at Wembley Arena.
According to Britain's Daily Mirror, Combs went to the concert after-party at a club called Paper, but "didn't look too happy to be there . . . until [Miller] arrived . . . For seemingly the first time all night, he started to enjoy himself . . . he ordered six burly bouncers to form a ring around the couple. And one unlucky reveler who accidentally strayed too close to the pair at Paper . . . was manhandled out of the way by their heavies."
Combs and Miller were so engrossed in each other, they "failed to notice staff accidentally smash several champagne flutes at the table," the London paper said.
Ms Ray
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Fashion:They're Leopard and They're Comfortable
I would say have a happy holiday, but ya'll know "we" just have a couple of "days off". These made up Caucasian bread holidays really don't make a difference to us...just gives us a reason to have the neighborhoods and blocks smelling like B-B-Q for the next two weeks, while everyone else is going kayaking and deep sea diving in Lake Pontchartrain somewhere. So have a great few days off!
(Above) Illustration by Eddie NicoleItem of the week-cartier bracelet and hammer pants
Cheers to us when we get old!
Remember looking through old 60 and 70's photos of your parents and family members in amazement. Just the glimpse of your parents in their 20's enjoying life for that moment made you wish you were born at least twenty years earlier. People were so fly black then. Excluding celebrities and the wannabees, like nowadays. It seemed as if folks back in tha day stepped out on a regular and dressed fresh just in case something were to pop off. Like we say at VP. "If you stay ready...You aint gotta get ready!" That's some real shit and it was the way of life.
I was checking out some old photos of my mother when she was in her prime from college onto newlywed status, and she was such a sex pot. She wore the skimpy bathing suits and the tight ass jeans with fitted jersey tops. I can say that at the age of 26, my mother was flyer than me, and that being said without a wince of apprehension.
My pleasure has always been for years to check out what other people wear. From the horrendous to the exceptional, to just right out...oooh my God I hate her, I'm stealing that entire outfit. I've always been fascinated with the way people carry themselves...the walk, the talk, the gestures. It's the whole swagger thing, that Puffy so eloquently added to the urban lexicon, that I embrace. Just call me the observer of the cloth. I looked up to people like my mother and what she represented as a woman. Effortlessly well dressed, head up high, and oozing with sex appeal was the lady I proudly call my mother. I don't even think she realized it. So let's fast forward to 2007.... Unfortunately, I've been saddened....She refuses to get rid of her Circa 1992 leopard hammer pants that she loves to wear to the grocery store and I don't know why. She has the nerve to get pissed when she runs into somebody she knows in the grocery store while wearing the pants. When I chastise her about it, her reply is always: "They're leopard and they're comfortable, that counts for something." Nooo it counts for nothingness!!! Cut those damn pants and make furniture polishin' rags out of em.....PLEEAAAZZE!
What happened to the sexiness that was our beloved parents? Is the reasoning behind this lackluster display of personal presentation that they work so hard and really have no time or the energy to want to look sexy? I guess the way Bush has royally fucked the economy...the baby boomers can't even retire, let alone try to dress fly. They're still trying to support our broke asses while we try to figure shit out, find jobs, and graduate from school while simultaneously saving for their own retirement...it's sad, but it's the truth. My mother has always had great style in my eyes (minus the hammer pants) and that's an extra reason why I love her... regardless of the raggedy robe that she has to hold together cause' the zipper's broken...I will always remember her at her pinnacle of high fashion. And I appreciate the swagger that rubbed off onto myself...I'm so blessed!
But my father is another story. To this day, my dad swears he's the flighest nigga' around. He would still wear butterfly collar shirts if he could find them. He still embarrasses the hell out of my brother and I on special occasions (when he's invited) with those open silk shirts of his. He purposely keeps the top two buttons unclosed to bear his old grey haired taco meat of a chest ..... Why? I know why, cause he still thinks he's SEXY...motherfukr for what!
It's hilarious talkin about it, but not so funny when this negroe comes walkin down the aisle at your high school graduation wearing a white Tony Montana suit, with the open chess silk shirt, with brown sandals looking for a seat....WTF!!... and then when you go to PROGRAD or the after-graduation lock-in at your school and the one dude that always clowns starts asking random people, "Who's daddy was that in the white Tony Montana suit?" knowing it was my dad.
"Nigga that's my daddy! You saw us taking pictures! Where's your bucktooth father! Didn't see him around, at least mine showed up..."*That's exactly what I said too. I still remember that. I deserved to get cracked on, cause I would have been shit talkin for days if one of my friend's fathers showed up looking like Leon Phelps.
Obviously he has issues, hence the reason my parents have been divorced for over 17 years.
So how will our generation represent. What will Beyonce, Rhianna and Ashanti look like when they're 40 plus? Black folks are getting plastic surgery like crazy, so who knows? Probably a dash of their parents, a scoop of Latoya Jackson, with the elasticity of Star Jones. It really comes down to us regular cool folks to continue the "Black Don't Crack Phenomena". What I have learned from my experience with stylish elders is to stay CLASSIC...and the sexy will come. Not saying that you can't effortlessly be sexy after 50. It's when you TRY to be sexy after 50 is the problem. That kind of sexy never comes across well. Some of my guy friends still ask me "How's your sexy ass momma?"...and that never bothered me, because they know she doesn't TRY to be sexy....it's all about the imagination! But if you have guy friends coming over just to see how low she can go on a random day, that's just ghetto inappropriate foolishness.
The truth is that a plus 50 can't be sexy with sweaty saggin tits while wearing a tube-top. Nor can a plus 50 ever be sexy while wearing tight nut hugger jogging tights knowing that when he sits on the toilet his nuts will more than likely splash in the water...a literal fucking tea bag! *You'll get it later :) If you got all that going on, that means you're too old to be wearing certain shit! Therefore I feel there should be a 75% class with a 25% sexy dress code for the plus 40's of the world.
OUT OF RESPECT FOR MY ELDERS, I USE THE WORD CLASSIC. WHEN US YOUNGINS' OF THE 80's GET OLD, I FEEL WE SHOULD STAY CLASSIC! FOR CLASSIC IS ALWAYS SEXY. HERE ARE SOME GREAT EXAMPLES OF PLUS 50's
Carolina Herrera: I swear this lady looks better and better every year. She is the most stylish lady around. She's the poster woman for white collar shirts, it's her signature piece, she wears them with everything. Ladies, after a certain age a classic white collar shirt and great slacks can take you a long way!
Cool old guy with a the red vest. It's all about the hint of color! Kind of Sexy!
My friends and I always say, "I'm a stay fly forever". I really can't see myself falling off....walking around with open toe sandals with white socks, wearing family reunion t-shirts in public... Naah I dont see it! But you never know! I heard that after a certain age some women don't wear blue jeans. Now that's some grown shit. I couldn't imagine not ever wearing jeans...hell that's apart of my daily wardrobe, but it may be a good idea. Now that I think about it, my mother doesn't wear jeans!
Anyway, here's to the old folks who gracefully keep it sexy in their own geriatric way...lol
photo credit:thesartorialistCan't forget Lady Di
Yeah that's Tina at the ripe age of freakin' 58. The epitomy of "black don't crack"!
So with that said. To my black people, the earth is falling apart and by the time we hit our 50's we may not age at the full potential of our ancestors. We have to keep the "Black Don't Crack" phenomena going. Let's Continue to Keep these other folks guessing!
Here are some tips:
1. Use sunscreen, and always apply moisturizer wiping from the face to the scalp
2. CoCo butter does work. I've been using it on my ass since high school and I have no stretch marks...well maybe a few, but not at all noticable
3. Drink water and exercise
4. Brush your teeth with a little peroxide, it keeps the grill white...especially if you smoke and/or drink coffee and tea
5. Smile sometimes. Black folks walk around mad as hell. It doesn't hurt to smile and be nice to a person, even if they had you kickin' lions at work.
Be sure to pass this post on to your friends at work....we gotta look out for each other for the sake of our reputation. For when our kids tell the world about what we once were, we wanna leave a great legacy. Keep up the sexy!
Peace and Blessings,
Eddie Nicole
By the way, If you ever wanna get a cool expensive gift for someone, word on the street is that the Cartier Love Bracelet is the hot new charity gift. The proceeds go to...I'm sure another "Save the Africans Charity". So spend some money on a great cause...if you got it like that! Or just spend it on me!
Peace and Blessings,
Eddie Nicole
The Crack Files: Subs, Trains, and Automobiles?
I think that in some sort of crazy way I am fascinated by the crack heads of this nation, especially the one's in New York City. It's probably because in NYC, poverty is right smack in your face and the majority of native New Yorkers are jaded by the thousands of crack heads and their shenanigans, that they just ignore it...oh not me! I love witnessing, sharing, and hearing other people's stories about their encounters with the wacko's of the world. So I give you today my fabulous Vanity Pages readers (all 10 of you, I mean 12-I noticed we have some new readers...glad to have you, by the way) 3 short stories, that take place on the train, in the subway station, and in an automobile...
CASE 1: Early morning on the train
So, I had to be at work very early on a Saturday morning for an event and I was incredibly tired. I went out that night, had only 2 hours of sleep, not to mention I was still tipsy. I get on the train and I decide to close my eyes until my stop just to get a few extra minutes of rest. I feel something on my foot. And, I'm thinking to myself, "I know this isn't a grown person stepping on my foot? It has to be a little kid, but it's too damn early..." I open my eyes and BAM! There he is! A crackhead looking at me dead in the eye with a "Bitch move your feet out the way" type of look. Naturally, I rolled my eyes at him like he was crazy...well he actually was, so I just left it at an eye roll because there's no telling what these crack heads will do. And, I am one of 3 people (including the crackhead) in this particular subway car. So I commenced to closing my eyes again after he walked away as if he was going to walk through to the next subway car-I thought I was in the clear. Next, I heard slurping from an aluminum can...and then the crumbling of that same can, at that moment I think to myself, "I know this nigga ain't about to throw this can at me?!" The next thing I know, I open my eyes and this ass hole throws the sprite can at ME!!! WHAT??!! Then he takes his cracky ass to the next car! WTF??
CASE 2: The Subway Sandwich
My dear friend Eddie Nicole was with her boyfriend in the subway station and they see a typical homeless/crackhead on the platform with his bags looking hungry and tired-he was asleep (or at least he looked like he was). She had a sandwich from subway and didn't want the rest. Mr. HomelessCrackhead guy looked like he could use a bite, so Eddie, being the generous person she is thought she would be a good Samaritan and give him the rest of her Sub. She laid it next to him and walked off feeling like she did her good deed for the day. Little did she know, Mr. HomelessCrackhead guy wasn't feeling her sandwich. As a matter of fact, he felt like she should know it, so a couple of seconds after Eddie walked off feeling good about herself, she felt a massive thump to the back of her head!!! The bastard threw the damn sub at her!! LMAO! I guess his message was, keep your sandwich Bitch, give me the money!!!
CASE 3: The Automobile
Another one of my dear friends in Houston shared an unfortunate story with me the other day. Her car was broken into. I was sad to hear about it because in these particular situations, one typically gets their fancy shmancy radio/cd/ipod player stolen or something else of value. On the contrary, her story was worst than that. She walks to her car during her lunch break and the window is broken. Immediately she thinks, "Oh no! I left my radio face on, and my Nike bag is in there with my work out clothes! Oh shit, I just bought some new shoes , they are in the bag too!" And, she continues to think of the valuables she left in her car all at this moment. She opens the door, and sees that all of the items in the gym bag are removed from the bag. Sprawled around the back seat of the car. "But, wait! Everything is still in here, this is crazy," she thought. Well guess what folks? All that was missing was her cigarette lighter and the gym bag! What kind of shit is that?! Now, I'm glad that all of her belongings were there, but this theft is screaming crackhead! All he took was a bag and a lighter!
Until next time...
Lady A
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Tea Cups and Dog Fashion
We have friends, who have friends with Tea Cups Pets. I decided to post some cute posting about doggie fashion and some of the crazy styles that are out for pet lovers with tea cups and other size dogs. and hotos of other tea cups bread. I want a tea Cup!!
The Garden Party Dress
Limited Edition by Susan Lanci for Swarovski
Strictly for truly pampered puppies only! With a price tag of $3,000 this gorgeous dog dress and nothing less than breath-taking with its elegant design and extreme attention to detail! Designed by Susan Lanci for Swarovski, this exclusive piece is a limited edition
This little Outfit will cost you.
Shoes for your dog. If you haven't seen any dog
wearing them. Please come to New York. It's funny and cute. Now this is crazy. But it's fashion
I could go on and on with this, I have to stop.
Ms Ray
New york Designer Malia Mills Bikinis
Malia Mills Bikinis
You don't have to be a size 2 to wear her pieces. Rated #1
It may be just tw0 minuscule pieces of Lycra but, fashion-wise, nothing causes quite as much pleasure and pain as a buying a bikini. And while color, print, and shape are all important, the key thing to get right is fit. (right Ladies)That's where New York designer Malia mills comes in- her bikini tops work just like a bra, each one featuring contouring seams for shape and a perfect fit; three set of hook fastening at the back and three different size straps ranging from thin for small to thicker ones on D-cups pluses. So don't worry she has something for all sizes.(really!!!) Stylish top that cover the tummy and a few one-piece suits can also. The bottoms also come in a range of shapes, fits, and styles, so you can ensure you find the perfect pair to suit your shape.
Mills and her staff take each individual as she comes, and her expert teams use their trained eye to size you up. You will love it.
Where to find Mills
1031 lexington Ave
New York, NewYork
or call for more location
212 874-7200
Ms Ray
Muha!!!http://www.maliamills.com/Pages/index2.html
Thank me later..
Ice Cream Any One, Gelato is the Best!
Yolato has developed over 100 different flavors of gelato to introduce to customers. From traditional flavors such as Chocolate and Vanilla to more unique flavors such as Pumpkin Pie and Tiramisu. Gelato Artisans are constantly striving to provide new taste sensations. Must try!! yum.
This Ice Cream is so Yummmy, you must try Gelato. Anyone with a sweet tooth should get the next flight to Sicily-an island where they even eat ice cream for breakfast, usually in the form of a hollowed-out brioche filled with gelato. Ice Cream may have been invented here some time around the 8th century, when Arabs inhabiting the island first thought to scoop the ice from the slopes of Mount Etna, and combine it with sugar, milk, and flavoring from local products, such as oranges, almonds, and roses. The ideal way, they figured, to stave off the fierce summer heat. You must try this Ice cream it's soooo good. you may not have to fly to Italy but if you do try it. But check in your areas near your home or come to New York.
I Love the chocolate.
Ms Ray
Friday, June 22, 2007
Another Movie to Support: Talk To Me
I love me some Don Cheadle! He is one of the most talented actors in Hollywood. Great to see him consistently working. I love him in all of the Ocean's 11 movies. The British accent is what gets me when he plays the ballistics expert. Check out Ocean's 13 if you haven't, way better than 12.
Check out the new trailer for his movie, Talk To Me. Looks entertaining.
Related Post: American Gangster Trailer
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Hump Day
OOOH where do I start? I'm just gonna wing it until I can figure how I want to really tell this story. Let's start with a warm up shall we!
Random Shit:
I have you ever felt too shame to eat your lunch at work with your co-workers cause you were to broke to bring or buy a real meal...eatin' your little PBJ sandwich at your desk all quiet.
Don't have the nerve to eat the instant lunch Ramen noodles, people be at work lookin' at you all crazy...like what's that old noodle smell. Bitch, let's take a collection plate around here since you so worried.
Who feels that Rhianna totally swagger jacked FeFe Dobson? I watched her new video for "Shut Up and Drive"....not feelin it. It would really be interesting to see FeFe Dobson really try to make a big comeback to give Rhi Rhi a little lyrical competition. You can tell Rhianna has the corporate money engine behind her, that's another reason she looks so hot. I never cared for Rhianna's musical talent so I can't say I miss her "island sound", but that sound was really her, I guess. But the white folks are gonna invest so much in Rhi-Rhi that I guess the music itself really doesn't matter.
Aaaw Fe Fe, I hope there is still room for the real black rocker chicks
So Coral is a Lesbian. The MTV Reality addict is now exploring her new sexuality. She said she has always had it in her, she was just never ready to come out. BOOOO! I don't believe it. I feel another fake publicity stunt to get some flashlight shine, cause that's all she's gonna get!
Wow, white folks have started their own currency in the US. This has been around for a while and I had no idea. In a town in western Massachusetts, there is a new currency called BerkShares where Norman Rockwell is the face. They call it local money. BerkShares are accepted in about 280 cafes, coffee shops, grocery stores and other businesses in Great Barrington and neighboring towns, including Stockbridge, the town where Rockwell lived for a quarter century. Do black people live in towns? Ya'll let me know, so we can get our Frederick Douglas on. You know when they do it, we right behind them...unfortunately!
Lt. Mauser, Tackelberry, Sergeant ProctorI miss Police Academy. It would be awesome if they came up with a new cast.
Who would ya'll cast? I'm thinking Vince Vaughn (Mahoney), Brotha Man from the 5th flo (Hightower), Will Ferrel (Tackelberry), Mos Def or Dave Chappelle (Sgt. Jones), Neecy Nash (Lavern Hooks), the agent from Entourage (Maussar)....that would be the shit
Meet the FLOMasters. You ever wonder how black folks come up with these dances. They don't just pop out of nowhere. Well, here are the guys who came up with most of the ATL "lean wit it rock wit" dances. It's kind a cute how they're so serious and all in sync.
Ok. That's a good warm up.
So have you ever had the worst sex in your life? Don't worry it happens to the best of us!... and if it hasn't happened to you yet, then guess what? You're a lucky bastard! I thought the worst sex of my life was when I thought I lost my virginity. But jabbing doesn't count in my opinion, so that uneventful hump day was just a waste of time and feelings of awkwardness....side note: he thought he was really doing something and had the nerve to tell everybody at school, and I had the nerve to think we really "did it".
But that was ions a go.
On the real, I would never wish a horrible sexual experience on anyone. The worst hump day of your life will always be a memory. It's so shame for you because you had to experience it and for the partner because he/she had to give it. I can say, since I had my horrible sexual experience, I finally understand the pressure men have had for years. For some reason I had the misconception that at the ripe age of 25, every man would have been on top of his shit. I thought the penis power that men posses at the mid 20's would have been at the pinnacle of full potential. I guess you can say there is always a rotten apple in the bunch. It was so bad...I'm waisting time writing this shit let me get to it...lol.
So it was my first year in NYC. Arriving from Houston, Texas, I was so excited. I was on top of my game, working as a personal shopper's assistant at Bergdorf Goodman, I really thought I was the shit. Nothing could ruin my New York Experience.
I was open to meet new people, not to mention the fact that I hadn't "done it" in like a year. New York is a funny place, cause' you never know who you'll meet. Everyone is from everywhere. Would I meet my "BIG" or "Aiden"? Could I inevitably get my "Sex and the City" on?The possibilities were endless. So a lesbian friend that I worked with hooked me up with this guy from LA, we'll call him Flaccid Fill. By the way, it's hard for me to have lesbian friends...I will save that story for next week....Anyway, we met at some spot and I thought he was kinda cute. Not really my type, but I felt like if I continued on this path of rejecting guys, I would never meet anyone that could possibly be the best penis ever. So after weeks of going out, he invited me to his apt.
TAKE NOTE AND LEARN
The apartment was ok. It was not that clean...not my standards...but I'm coming in with an open mind...It's New York. So we eat some take out, watch a movie, crack a few jokes...you know shootin' the shit. It's late, I'm not getting on the train...and he wanted me to stay.
The Kiss- It's all my fault because I could have stopped it at that...but I was thirsty so I kept it going. We kissed and he seemed unsure of himself with that. He was kissing all fast but soft...it was weird. I'm a fan of a great kiss, a firm, not too wet, a little tongue action, sucking of the lips kind of kiss, not too fast, but not boring slow....that kiss was just awkward. I'm already like uggghh! But we kept it going.
The Foreplay- So when he finally caught on to the way I kissed, I'm thinking ok, maybe this wont be so bad... We were doing the "I wanna "do it" but don't wanna seem thirsty so I'm gonna take it easy kind of foreplay" which can be cool. I don't like jumping into things too fast, at least when I'm sober. Shit, this nigga acted like he was going down and then paused and said "I don't Go Down"...so I said..."I didn't ask you to"... I was tight because he even said that..."Didn't nobody push your head past my belly button, now you scared","Get off me!..." He rolled over looking all rejected. I just wanted to escape and go home, but it was like 2am....
This is so hard to write ya'll....lol
Flaccid Fill was not even doing his business.
That's what sucked. At least Mister gave it to her. Shit, I would have switched him out for Mister at that point. After that night, I felt violated... I felt violated because I gave him the time of day, I let him take a part of me that I knew I shouldn't have, and then didn't even make him feel like shit about it afterwards. He didn't deserve my scrutiny...let some other bitch act like she cares enough to even tell him how bad he was, Noooo my brotha.... not on my watch. Needless to say, I never called him again...SHAME! I guess that's why I'm telling the world. I know!...I've shamed you all....no,I have. I hope the men are reading....I pray they read this. I'm trying to stop horrible dick for everyone. Ladies spread the word! JUST SAY NO TO HORRIBLE DICK!
I Love you all!
Eddie Nicole
Monday, June 18, 2007
Maybe I Will Buy an Album This Year
Kevin Michael- From Philly
Rembrandt- The WarriorsI just got word from myself, that ya' girl might finally legally buy a whole album. Ya'll know there is no music worth buying these days other than old school throwbacks, and I still pirate those...that's neither here nor there
Meet Kevin Michael out of Philly. He's the latest R&B/Soul crooner from Atlantic Records. His album will be dropping in August. This song featuring Lupe Fiasco is on my new theshit list. I actually feel like I may buy an album this year, who knows. The sound is something we've been missing in black music since the whole male Neo Soul movement came and went (Bilal, D'Angelo, Ralpheal Saadiq). His sound and style is very hip and fresh. I know he looks like Rembrandt from The Warriors- that actually makes him even cooler in my opinion, but listen to his music and what he has to say. And Lupe just makes the song even more real, with his sexy skateboard kick pushin', bifocals wearin' ass!
Yummy, Yummy, Gumdrops!We all want the same thing!
powered by ODEO
