Lookin Ass Nigga

I can't say too much:

but......
Ooompa Looompa Doopity Dooo Lookin Ass N*gga!

Words To Grow On: Clopping Corduroys

What happened to the raw, keep your clothes on, sensual eruption (in your pants), dirty DRY HUMPING? Do the youth under 16 do that anymore?

I won't get into detail about my past teenage escapades, but I will say, dry humping was not so bad...at least for me it wasn't. I'm sure blue balls weren't that comfortable for my boyfriends, but hey, I didn't have balls and that was their problem.
Young boys have always been manish, no doubt, but it's up to the young girls to stand up and say "hey, that's your problem, I just wanna dry hump".
By the way, as a young girl (under age 14), where is the libido coming from? Are you having sex because it feels good, or are you doing it because of the peer pressure? The 14 year olds on Maury seem to love sex...but my question is how and why?

I told my 14 year old cousin that whether a guy really likes you or not....he's going to want to have sex with you....period. Why be the ItSexGirl at school? It's not cute and you will feel shame and inadequate, because he will try to do it with someone else eventually. So just wait!

Obviously, society has gotten bored, jaded, and uninspired. With BET, VH1, and MTV, there is no reason why we shouldn't have teen pregnancies. So I really just answered my own damn question. The roles have reversed. The parents want to be their kid's best friends and the kids are grown. It sucks and it makes my stomach queasy...so be easy...little sleazies!

Cause at the End of the Day

There are certain phrases that really bother me. I don't get where these explanatory phrases come from or who started it, but hearing the following punch lines makes me want to scream:

1. Cause at the End of the Day....- that's been an all time hood favorite for the past 3 years
2. What had happened was....- Why? Why put the had in it. The had is unncessary. It doesn't drive the point through, it's just an extra word
3. Well, it is what it is....- What? That's stupid and come up with something better to say. That's the worst come back when hearing bad news.
4. Last but not least...- Ladies, lets just stop using this one to drive the point home, because we never really finalize the argument


Ya dig what I'm saying, specialer, it's goin down, worser.....

Keisha Vs. Mary

Can Keyshia Cole touch Mary J. Blige? Fans from both camps are comparing the Young Keyshia to Mary in style, swagger, and street cred. I am a huge fan of Ms. Blige. I've been to three of her concerts spanning from the time when she was going through issues with that crack head boyfriend of hers KC of Jodeci to No More Drama...I can say they were all great performances. I like Keyshia Cole, especially that new club banger "Let it Go", but I just can't give her the props just yet. What ya'll think?!!

With One Catch

I know this may seem harsh or controversial, but if one day Baby Jesus decides to come to me in my sleep to reveal my future husband with the great physical traits such as: tall, handsome, and talented...but with one catch!.... he would be a homosexual...I would say alright, but one request
"Yes my child" -says Baby Jesus
me- "Can he be a reincarnate of the sexy Danny from "So You Think You Can Dance"?"

No matter how sexy and handsome a guy is....if he has the slightest homosexual tendencies (example: the gay lisp, arched eyebrows, colored contacts, muscle shirts, man capris), all possible attractions have been reduced to shame feelings of even having those ideas in the first place....Unless he is Danny from the show, So You Think You Can Dance. Man, he's as gay-as-today, but he's so beautiful and graceful. I don't expect anyone to totally agree on this subject...I mean he is gay. He has to be gay. He's way to smooth and charismatic in his dance. He's so statuesque and regal...it's not like I get hot when watching him... well I kinda do... but I just think he's a beautiful gay man and if I had to have a gay husband it would be Danny. We could go shopping and dance to Pat Benitar every night. I would ask his advice on what color I should paint my walls, "Eggshell or Cerulean?" and and and...we could watch Steal Magnolias and Beaches.... and recite lines from the movie Color Purple....and maybe go to plays and vacate in Italy....and maybe I could finally see Broke Back Mountain without putting up a fight....and and....

Just check him out ladies, he's so dreamy... in a light skinded waivy hair T3 kinda way.

Here lies the question, my hardworking slackers...have you ever been attracted to a gay guy? If any straight dudes answer this question...regardless of your answer...you might need to rethink some things about your sexual quest in life.

Goodbye My Sweetness!! (Pun Intended)


Congrats to Sabra Johnson, the new winner of So You Think You Can Dance. She won $250,000. She deserved it. She kicked so much ass on this show, and she had only been doing this for 4 years...I almost don't believe it. Just in case ya'll didn't tune in, Check out some of my favorite Sabra moments

Dominic and Sabra Week 4

Neil and Sabra - Paso Doble

Her partner Neil was sick with his as well!

Neil and Sabra Week 8

Revolution: What's That

When hearing about devastating racial injustices, like Hurricane Katrina, and the James Byrd of Jasper, Texas dragging, one would say "I can't believe this shit is really still happening?" We all know racism is still alive and well. Of course throughout the present and future days of our time, there will always be a story of some idiot making racial, sexist, and misogynistic epithets (Don Imus, Isiaha Washington, Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton, Kramer-Michael Richards... ring a bell).
Depending on the severity of the racism and whether the actual accused racist is a celebrity or public figure, the media pics and chooses what is news worthy at times. It has been said prime time media doesn't have access to cover stories in small towns due to the archaic technologies of communication in said small town...that's baloney. If we "bloggers" can find these stories..why can't "they"-the media broadcast these issues on a broad spectrum across the world.
With that said, where do many of the heinous racially charged crimes take place?...Usually in small, po-dump, boondocks type of towns like Jena Louisiana... So one would think the folks at the white house or wherever would try to keep a special probe on these racially flagrant towns.
Hence the reason I'm posting this story. As I sit at my little cluttered desk, munching on Ramen noodles, I can forget about how crazy the world is, especially in our beloved country we call America. Check out this independent news clip about the Jenna 6 in Louisiana, you would be...well surprised.




On another note*
I hear people casually mock the phrase "the revolution will not be televised" or "we need to start a revolution up in here"...Yeah Right! If folks really understood the real meaning of revolution...they for sure wouldn't be casually claiming it. One has to be ready to literally die for the cause in order to start a revolution. I ask this question- is there any cause you would die for? Seriously!

I wouldn't know the first thing about a revolution...that's why I never play around with that word or phrase...because it actually meant something. I guess I'm too comfortable. At least I vote.

"Revolution is based on land, land is the basis of all independence, land
is the basis of freedom justice and equality. The white man knows what a
revolution is. How do you think he will react to you when you learn what a
real revolution is? "- Malcom X

For more info on this story visit colorofchange.org

Click here to sign the petition

I Went to School With This Guy

You ever went to school with someone who you knew would do something spectacular? Well, you may have seen the guy from your left of Chingy on several billboards and magazine ads, but I went to high school with this cat. I remember when "Steph" was the cute crazy guy in school who could sing, dance, run track, and skip classes like no other. I even remember when he took up stripping as a pass time his senior year (Hardbodies....). He's a definite hustler. Steph's a very interesting character with a great heart. Like myself, he's Houston born and Missouri City raised. His music is quickly gaining attention and the ladies...well just look at him...he's fine as hell. Remember Craig David, his sound reminds me of the Brit singer...Steph's just cuter :)
For a while he hustled as a model, gracing the pages of Vibe magazine to name one, acting as the male lead for videos with the likes of Destiny's Child and Faith Evans and now he's doing it way big as the new artist on the DTP label with Ludacris. His video, "Celebrity Chick", has been featured on 106 and park and MTV.
I can say, I'm very proud of Steph for pushing himself to new heights while facing adversity. I wish him the best of luck. Check out his songs and video on his myspace Steph Jones


Yours Truly,

Eddie Nicole

Making Moves

I'm kind of sad today. Every time I hear something about Lauryn Hill, it never makes me feel happy...like what her music used to do. What happened? That's the question that has yet to be answered. Remember when she came out with the cool bob and the crazy big ass bow at the BET awards. Everyone just knew the Fugees were gonna infiltrate the game and bring back that creativity to Hip-Hop music that is so missed. We have to start an intervention and save our black soul crooners....This is ridiculous. Apparently, she preformed in Brooklyn (for what reason plagues me...all her performances in the past year have been shitty) and totally fucked over her fans again. She started 2 hours late...and crooned over old and new tunes and totally destroyed what were once masterpieces. I understand she's going through some shit, but Lauryn Hill is/was too important to the art of music to allow herself to fall off like this. She could move crowds. She's ruining her legacy of being one of the greatest...think Jimmy Hendrix, Bob Marley, Marvin Gaye, The Beatles...I would rather her just stay on sabattical and come back with a bang...But has she ruined that chance?

Yeah that's him, D' Angelo. Again....What the Hell happened to his ass? He was the absolute shit back in the day. His first album will forever be a classic...now he looks like an old bumb. He kinda reminds me of the bumb that threw the damn sand which at me on the train...but whatever....Like I said, I'm really sad and disappointed. I hope he gets his situation together...this look is not sexy at all. Has he ruined his chance to make a come back as well?

What else? Oh yeah...I'm GLAD to announce my new column with CAUGHT MAGAZINE. It's geared to uplift the youth. So I'm uplifting these youngins on how to conduct themselves with class. Style is easy, class takes skill and time. So Congrats to me... I am the style contributor for the Swagger section. My debut has been featured in this month's issue. I will keep you guys posted on my latest entries. Check out my column...damn it!

I wanna first and foremost thank God, my mother, the academy, and last but definitely not least...THE FANS!

Peace and Blessings,

Eddie Nicole

Barak Obama Covers Vibe

As the summer ends, the 2007 presidential debates and press releases will increasingly take over media outlets. In case you are unaware. Barak Obama has a good shot at being the first Black president in the history of the U.S. If that's not enough reason to get out and vote, make sure to check out this issue if you want to get enlightened on his views on how he will change America.
The Special Juice Issue hits the stands August 14.

VIBE AXES VIXEN

This doesn't make me happy....another girly mag falls by the waste side

CEO of Vibe Media Group, Steve Aaron, recently announced that Vibe Vixen, the female counterpart to urban music & lifestyle magazine, Vibe, will cease publication as of next month.

The announcement, which comes just two weeks after Aaron took office, repositions Vibe Vixen for only special issues. The new format will focus on specific urban culture themes slated to begin in the fourth quarter, and while the frequency of the special issues has yet to be determined, it has been confirmed that Vixen will still maintain its website.

Vibe Vixen was originally launched in February 2005 coming out twice a year. The frequency was upped to six times annually earlier this year.

Rihanna is the cover model for the final issue following in the footsteps of previous cover models Keyshia Cole, Ciara, Kelly Rowland and Janet Jackson.

Real Talk

Enough with the embarrassment we call Brittney, Lindsay, and Micheal Vick.












Lets bring to light the issues going on with human rights in the 21 century. I am so happy to report to my readers that there was a tribunal which took place last week against the US. Government on their involvement with the torture and lack of humanity for the Hurricane Katrina victims. Of course, this information can not be found on any major news site, not even CNN. World leaders have joined forces to set a case against George W. Bush and his croonies for the inhumane atrocities his regime commited on that terrifying day. Thank God we actually do have leaders. Let's stop worrying about the bull$hit the media continues to feed the public and start doing research on issues that matter.
Surprisingly, I found this on Vibe.com

Here is a portion of the article

It's been two years since Hurricane Katrina and Rita ripped through the belly of the South, and survivors, along with various scholars and activists, are seeking to hold the US government responsible in a tribunal court hearing scheduled for this August.

On Tuesday (July 17), New York City Councilman Charles Barron and former Georgia Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney met at Manhattan's Center for Constitutional Rights for a press conference to discuss the upcoming trial. The tribunal will target President Bush, the US government, State of Louisiana, State of Mississippi, and various other agencies who were involved in the Katrina and Rita relief efforts.

The Tribunal will include a team of human and civil rights prosecutors, including Joan Gibbs from the Center of Law & Social Justice and Kali Akuno, from the Peoples Hurricane Relief Fund.

Overall, the Tribunal's main goal is holding the US government accountable for their reaction to the 2005 storms.


I will try my damndest to keep up with the status of this monolithic event because apparently the news has forgotten or just doesn't care.


Peace and Blessings,

Eddie Nicole

Angry Black Women's Society Townhall Meeting:

Just a reminder. The ABWS townhall meeting has been canceled due to the strikes at hair salons across the country. Stay tuned for the rescheduled date!


Since I got that out the way,

What the hell is this negroe talking about?
I found this on a fellow blogger's site Beauty in Baltimore



Dear Mr. Negroe,

What's the problem? Are you joking? Because if this is a joke, you had me rollin like a motherfker. First of all my brotha, we gotta work on your camera game, cause if you're for real, then we need an ounce of professionalism. I apologize to you for all the black girls that teased you all throughout your adolescents. That's just our way of giving back to all the years that we were called nappy headed, flat chested, chicken headed, black as night, and every rude term of endearment by you guys. We knew it was just jokes, so we didn't sweat it. I'm sure you were called African booty scratcher and pink lips so you should understand. So now you're like 35 and living in what looks to be the country by the way your hair is glossing, and you still have your heart on your sleeve. That's kinda lame if you ask me. Hopefully you do have a career. I would hate to find out that you have more of these "Yessa Mam" tapes in your archives, cause' if so, I will personally send you a job application with an extra stamp. The real truth is that black women love anyone who genuinely loves them... Plain and simple. It's not fair to say that all black women have nothing to do with black men, it's just for some reason your cornyness will not allow us to look in your direction. Actually while I'm writing this, I can only listen and not look at your video...real talk.
And I really don't think wonderbread cares whether or not we are taking their men. They're wasting their own time with you. Actually it's never been a matter of us taking we've always been wanted...two words- Strom Thurmond
Take note:
We are way too busy and too fly to put up with the shear lack of swagger coming from your corner. So I hope this was a joke and you were just in need of some black womanly love. And guess what? For the first time in all your life you got the attention from one of the flyest black girls around and hopefully all of the lovely people who will respond to this post. So feel blessed. By the way, if you happen to read this, there is job opening at my firm. Maybe a sister can give you a hand, since we're non threatening and all.


Peace and Blessings to the guy sweating like a slave!

Hump Day: It Was More Like Bamboozled

Cleo-Lesbian character played by Queen Latifah

What do you call when you get hit on constantly by androgynous lesbians? I feel there are many unsung straight girls out there who have yet to tell the story of Triumph after getting hit on by the Cleo's of the world. I have balls and no shame people, so ya'll know I got a story.

I can say that I am an official MUFF MAGNET. That's what I'm calling it for this post. I swear, I don't know what it is, but I've got hit on one too many times by women. It would actually be resourceful if I WAS A LESBIAN.
I wonder what is it about myself that attracts them. Is it the hair, my charming smile, my sexy boyish looks. Hell...I thought I was a girly girl. But maybe that's it. I'm cool like a dude but I'm......never mind, it's useless to try to figure out.
I constantly here these "I wish a motherfker would" comments from my straight guy friends who continuously get hit on by homosexuals, including my boyfriend. Granted my guy is cute and slim with a decent build, so it's totally understandable why he constantly gets dude stalked from time to time, but how does it really feel as a straight man to get hit on by our gay brothers?
Are they really that offended? or Do they feel slightly flattered that a gay guy would even take interest. At this day in age, for a gay man to seek interest in another, one must have a gym membership, a sick wardrobe, and a good job. So in my opinion, straight guys who get hit on by gays should not feel that offended.
I can honestly say that my man handles the occasional "looks" pretty well. Half of the time he doesn't even realize the overt sexual passes until I tell him...and even then he's in denial. I love it because it's pure comedy for me. I can say that I'm fortunate to be with someone who respects the importance of my gay guy friends. Although I have to give him a quick pep talk from time to time before an occasional outing, he knows I have a football team of homosexual friends and they aint' going nowhere. I have no time for his trivial banter every time we go to brunch or an outing with one of my "fairies"... as he likes to call them...cause' he's scared they're gonna try and flirt with him. I would always mock him and blow off his complaints until....I started to reminisce! Did I forget about how I felt when I first got hit on..........?
I have a slew of stories on my run-ins with the Cleo's of the world. It's odd that I have more than enough stories than I would like to admit, but it's real.
Come role with me as I sift through my mental Rolodex. This Story is a Classic.

I Can't Even Say I Got Hit On, it was More Like Bamboozled- by Eddie Nicole

It was the year 2002. I was a Sophomore in college in the greater Austin area. It was one of my first experiences on the notorious 6th street in Austin, Texas. Picture Bourbon street with less jazz, a sprinkle of New York's lower east side, along with drunk Texas college students and BAMN! There's 6th street...nothin' like it. I was amazed because I felt so free at that time in my 21 year old life. I was finally out of my comfort zone. Immersed with the opportunities to consume large amounts of alcohol, meet great people, all while acquiring a great edumacation. I was in it to win it. It was the ultimate college experience!
After hours of studying and cramming, my girls and I bar hopped and clowned on 6th street of Austin. We ate greasy pizza, and flirted with football players. Unfortunately, that's just what college girls do in Texas. As an attractive, naive, young female...flirting with the athletes had great benefits.... hopefully you could get into all the parties free and if you really know what you're doing maybe become a future NFL wife (Go Rocky!) or a notorious groupie...just gotta play your cards right..lol
As we flirted and introduced ourselves to the brawny ball players, they invited us to a party at this hot spot at the time called the Colorado Room. We were so hype because #1 We were getting in for free and #2 The most important at the time...Free Drinks. There was no sweat off the Ball player's backs because Austin and the entire state of Texas immortalizes football players. Needless to say, they didn't have to pay for shit. So we got the for real hook-up on drinks and the VIP section.
Everybody from UT's campus was there, including Black Greeks, male and female ball players, boppers, male groupies...it was crazy.
So we're in the party stuntin'... Lookin at females like...yeah we here..let's get the party started! We were total snobs.
We're on the dance floor getting down. We're tipsy...Well at least I was...and there were potential husbands all over the place.
*****Here's where the story takes a drastic turn*****

I made sure to not totally ruin my reputation because I planned on pledging the next year and of course the sorority I wanted to pledge had members scattered around the party everywhere. I really had to watch who I flirted and danced with that night.

So after I danced with a couple of guys....MY SONG STARTED PLAYING. It was R. Kelly's summer classic,"Fiesta" featuring Jay-Z. So I'm dancing with this dude...and we are grinding. I'm backing it up with my signature "pick it up an drop it move". Me and this "mystery man" danced for about halfway through the song until I felt something odd....Are these MAN BOOBS on my back?! I'm like, "This dude seems pretty slim, Where are the man boobs coming from?" So as I drunkenly turn around, the mystery man raps his arms around my waste... and as I'm checking "him" out "he's" laughing way too hard. So my crunkness totally began to wain, because that's when it hit me. He has one of those rare deformities...over produced mammary glands. So I'm still awkwardly dancing. I can't be rude just because the man has boobs. As I'm dancing, my best friend NeNe pulls me to the side and goes..."Girl you know you dancing with a chic". At that exact moment My heart literally dropped and splattered on the dance floor. I felt lonely and cold. Not only was the entire female basketball team eyeing me and getting a hardy laugh but some of the football players were in on it as well. It felt like Sissy Spacek in "Carrie". I was heated! All I could say was DAAAMMMN!

All I needed was for Jack Nicholson's ass to finish the night off with a classic line "Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight?" ...."The Jokes on you...
Bitch!"














I looked at my girls and they already knew it was time to get the hell out. As we casually, but shamefully exited the club, I saw a group of sorority girls snickering. I wasn't sure if it was about me, but I felt like the whole party was laughing at my expense. Thank God those girls weren't in the sorority I was interested in, cause that would have been the end of my pledging dreams.
Wrong!.... All I can say was about a year later.... Hell Night for me was a total bitch!!...
nough' said!

I say all of that to say this.

Did I Triumph? I think so. I didn't react the way most would expect. Although to this day I feel that incident was in violation of a person's right to choose what sex they want to grind with on the dance floor, I feel just in my actions. I calmly smiled and played that shit off real smooth... I walked away. Hell what was I gonna do? fight the entire basketball team...not the way my girls were looking behind me...and I mean they were waaay behind. They were scared shitless. They figured something would pop off and we were gonna have to fight the entire girl's basketball team...that would have been a sad sight I must admit. I'm way to smooth to fight husky girls with cankles that I know I can't defeat. See, when one faces adversity and senses a larger loss than one has already gained, you can not react in an ignorant manner... That would result in my situation being "gayer" and even more awkward than it originally was. Just accept the lesson, take the losses and move on.
So with this story, I say to my friends....Just Be Cool! Karma's A Bitch.
It's not copacetic to snob at parties, I learned my lesson!

Wherever that deformed man is...I hope you may one day read this classic piece of journalism. I was Unmoved by you're fraudulent actions, and I still stand to say that......I hope you're boobs grow into huge melons so even a sports bra can't hide it. That should cease any confusion to any unsuspecting young women who crosses you're path.

Now, I ask my friends in the blogger world, what would you have done in that situation.

Signing Off,

Eddie Nicole "I Shall Not Be Moved"

Fashion:They're Leopard and They're Comfortable

I would say have a happy holiday, but ya'll know "we" just have a couple of "days off". These made up Caucasian bread holidays really don't make a difference to us...just gives us a reason to have the neighborhoods and blocks smelling like B-B-Q for the next two weeks, while everyone else is going kayaking and deep sea diving in Lake Pontchartrain somewhere. So have a great few days off!

(Above) Illustration by Eddie Nicole
Item of the week-cartier bracelet and hammer pants

Cheers to us when we get old!
Remember looking through old 60 and 70's photos of your parents and family members in amazement. Just the glimpse of your parents in their 20's enjoying life for that moment made you wish you were born at least twenty years earlier. People were so fly black then. Excluding celebrities and the wannabees, like nowadays. It seemed as if folks back in tha day stepped out on a regular and dressed fresh just in case something were to pop off. Like we say at VP. "If you stay ready...You aint gotta get ready!" That's some real shit and it was the way of life.
I was checking out some old photos of my mother when she was in her prime from college onto newlywed status, and she was such a sex pot. She wore the skimpy bathing suits and the tight ass jeans with fitted jersey tops. I can say that at the age of 26, my mother was flyer than me, and that being said without a wince of apprehension.

My pleasure has always been for years to check out what other people wear. From the horrendous to the exceptional, to just right out...oooh my God I hate her, I'm stealing that entire outfit. I've always been fascinated with the way people carry themselves...the walk, the talk, the gestures. It's the whole swagger thing, that Puffy so eloquently added to the urban lexicon, that I embrace. Just call me the observer of the cloth. I looked up to people like my mother and what she represented as a woman. Effortlessly well dressed, head up high, and oozing with sex appeal was the lady I proudly call my mother. I don't even think she realized it. So let's fast forward to 2007.... Unfortunately, I've been saddened....She refuses to get rid of her Circa 1992 leopard hammer pants that she loves to wear to the grocery store and I don't know why. She has the nerve to get pissed when she runs into somebody she knows in the grocery store while wearing the pants. When I chastise her about it, her reply is always: "They're leopard and they're comfortable, that counts for something."
Nooo it counts for nothingness!!! Cut those damn pants and make furniture polishin' rags out of em.....PLEEAAAZZE!
What happened to the sexiness that was our beloved parents? Is the reasoning behind this lackluster display of personal presentation that they work so hard and really have no time or the energy to want to look sexy? I guess the way Bush has royally fucked the economy...the baby boomers can't even retire, let alone try to dress fly. They're still trying to support our broke asses while we try to figure shit out, find jobs, and graduate from school while simultaneously saving for their own retirement...it's sad, but it's the truth. My mother has always had great style in my eyes (minus the hammer pants) and that's an extra reason why I love her... regardless of the raggedy robe that she has to hold together cause' the zipper's broken...I will always remember her at her pinnacle of high fashion. And I appreciate the swagger that rubbed off onto myself...I'm so blessed!
But my father is another story. To this day, my dad swears he's the flighest nigga' around. He would still wear butterfly collar shirts if he could find them. He still embarrasses the hell out of my brother and I on special occasions (when he's invited) with those open silk shirts of his. He purposely keeps the top two buttons unclosed to bear his old grey haired taco meat of a chest ..... Why? I know why, cause he still thinks he's SEXY...motherfukr for what!
It's hilarious talkin about it, but not so funny when this negroe comes walkin down the aisle at your high school graduation wearing a white Tony Montana suit, with the open chess silk shirt, with brown sandals looking for a seat....WTF!!... and then when you go to PROGRAD or the after-graduation lock-in at your school and the one dude that always clowns starts asking random people, "Who's daddy was that in the white Tony Montana suit?" knowing it was my dad.
"Nigga that's my daddy! You saw us taking pictures! Where's your bucktooth father! Didn't see him around, at least mine showed up..."*That's exactly what I said too. I still remember that. I deserved to get cracked on, cause I would have been shit talkin for days if one of my friend's fathers showed up looking like Leon Phelps.

Obviously he has issues, hence the reason my parents have been divorced for over 17 years.

So how will our generation represent. What will Beyonce, Rhianna and Ashanti look like when they're 40 plus? Black folks are getting plastic surgery like crazy, so who knows? Probably a dash of their parents, a scoop of Latoya Jackson, with the elasticity of Star Jones. It really comes down to us regular cool folks to continue the "Black Don't Crack Phenomena". What I have learned from my experience with stylish elders is to stay CLASSIC...and the sexy will come. Not saying that you can't effortlessly be sexy after 50. It's when you TRY to be sexy after 50 is the problem. That kind of sexy never comes across well. Some of my guy friends still ask me "How's your sexy ass momma?"...and that never bothered me, because they know she doesn't TRY to be sexy....it's all about the imagination! But if you have guy friends coming over just to see how low she can go on a random day, that's just ghetto inappropriate foolishness.
The truth is that a plus 50 can't be sexy with sweaty saggin tits while wearing a tube-top. Nor can a plus 50 ever be sexy while wearing tight nut hugger jogging tights knowing that when he sits on the toilet his nuts will more than likely splash in the water...a literal fucking tea bag! *You'll get it later :) If you got all that going on, that means you're too old to be wearing certain shit! Therefore I feel there should be a 75% class with a 25% sexy dress code for the plus 40's of the world.

OUT OF RESPECT FOR MY ELDERS, I USE THE WORD CLASSIC. WHEN US YOUNGINS' OF THE 80's GET OLD, I FEEL WE SHOULD STAY CLASSIC! FOR CLASSIC IS ALWAYS SEXY. HERE ARE SOME GREAT EXAMPLES OF PLUS 50's
Carolina Herrera: I swear this lady looks better and better every year. She is the most stylish lady around. She's the poster woman for white collar shirts, it's her signature piece, she wears them with everything. Ladies, after a certain age a classic white collar shirt and great slacks can take you a long way!

Cool old guy with a the red vest. It's all about the hint of color! Kind of Sexy!

photo credit:thesartorialist

Silky, Silky Soul Singer Frankie Beverly. He's so cool! What he wears at his concerts is what he wears at home. Reminds you of the cool uncle you always wanted!- So Cool, He's Sexy

Lauren Hutton has aged very well and just as classic as ever! Sexyiness

photo credit:thesartorialist

My friends and I always say, "I'm a stay fly forever". I really can't see myself falling off....walking around with open toe sandals with white socks, wearing family reunion t-shirts in public... Naah I dont see it! But you never know! I heard that after a certain age some women don't wear blue jeans. Now that's some grown shit. I couldn't imagine not ever wearing jeans...hell that's apart of my daily wardrobe, but it may be a good idea. Now that I think about it, my mother doesn't wear jeans!
Anyway, here's to the old folks who gracefully keep it sexy in their own geriatric way...lol

He looks like that could hold a great and wise conversation. Wise=Sexy

photo credit:thesartorialist

Can't forget Lady DiYeah that's Tina at the ripe age of freakin' 58. The epitomy of "black don't crack"!

So with that said. To my black people, the earth is falling apart and by the time we hit our 50's we may not age at the full potential of our ancestors. We have to keep the "Black Don't Crack" phenomena going. Let's Continue to Keep these other folks guessing!
Here are some tips:
1. Use sunscreen, and always apply moisturizer wiping from the face to the scalp
2. CoCo butter does work. I've been using it on my ass since high school and I have no stretch marks...well maybe a few, but not at all noticable
3. Drink water and exercise
4. Brush your teeth with a little peroxide, it keeps the grill white...especially if you smoke and/or drink coffee and tea
5. Smile sometimes. Black folks walk around mad as hell. It doesn't hurt to smile and be nice to a person, even if they had you kickin' lions at work.
Be sure to pass this post on to your friends at work....we gotta look out for each other for the sake of our reputation. For when our kids tell the world about what we once were, we wanna leave a great legacy. Keep up the sexy!

Peace and Blessings,

Eddie Nicole

By the way, If you ever wanna get a cool expensive gift for someone, word on the street is that the Cartier Love Bracelet is the hot new charity gift. The proceeds go to...I'm sure another "Save the Africans Charity". So spend some money on a great cause...if you got it like that! Or just spend it on me!

Peace and Blessings,

Eddie Nicole

Another Movie to Support: Talk To Me

I love me some Don Cheadle! He is one of the most talented actors in Hollywood. Great to see him consistently working. I love him in all of the Ocean's 11 movies. The British accent is what gets me when he plays the ballistics expert. Check out Ocean's 13 if you haven't, way better than 12.
Check out the new trailer for his movie, Talk To Me. Looks entertaining.




Related Post: American Gangster Trailer

Hump Day

OOOH where do I start? I'm just gonna wing it until I can figure how I want to really tell this story. Let's start with a warm up shall we!

Random Shit:

I have you ever felt too shame to eat your lunch at work with your co-workers cause you were to broke to bring or buy a real meal...eatin' your little PBJ sandwich at your desk all quiet.

Don't have the nerve to eat the instant lunch Ramen noodles, people be at work lookin' at you all crazy...like what's that old noodle smell. Bitch, let's take a collection plate around here since you so worried.

Who feels that Rhianna totally swagger jacked FeFe Dobson? I watched her new video for "Shut Up and Drive"....not feelin it. It would really be interesting to see FeFe Dobson really try to make a big comeback to give Rhi Rhi a little lyrical competition. You can tell Rhianna has the corporate money engine behind her, that's another reason she looks so hot. I never cared for Rhianna's musical talent so I can't say I miss her "island sound", but that sound was really her, I guess. But the white folks are gonna invest so much in Rhi-Rhi that I guess the music itself really doesn't matter.

Aaaw Fe Fe, I hope there is still room for the real black rocker chicks

So Coral is a Lesbian. The MTV Reality addict is now exploring her new sexuality. She said she has always had it in her, she was just never ready to come out. BOOOO! I don't believe it. I feel another fake publicity stunt to get some flashlight shine, cause that's all she's gonna get!

Wow, white folks have started their own currency in the US. This has been around for a while and I had no idea. In a town in western Massachusetts, there is a new currency called BerkShares where Norman Rockwell is the face. They call it local money. BerkShares are accepted in about 280 cafes, coffee shops, grocery stores and other businesses in Great Barrington and neighboring towns, including Stockbridge, the town where Rockwell lived for a quarter century. Do black people live in towns? Ya'll let me know, so we can get our Frederick Douglas on. You know when they do it, we right behind them...unfortunately!

Lt. Mauser, Tackelberry, Sergeant Proctor

I miss Police Academy. It would be awesome if they came up with a new cast.
Who would ya'll cast? I'm thinking Vince Vaughn (Mahoney), Brotha Man from the 5th flo (Hightower), Will Ferrel (Tackelberry), Mos Def or Dave Chappelle (Sgt. Jones), Neecy Nash (Lavern Hooks), the agent from Entourage (Maussar)....that would be the shit


Meet the FLOMasters. You ever wonder how black folks come up with these dances. They don't just pop out of nowhere. Well, here are the guys who came up with most of the ATL "lean wit it rock wit" dances. It's kind a cute how they're so serious and all in sync.



Ok. That's a good warm up.

So have you ever had the worst sex in your life? Don't worry it happens to the best of us!... and if it hasn't happened to you yet, then guess what? You're a lucky bastard! I thought the worst sex of my life was when I thought I lost my virginity. But jabbing doesn't count in my opinion, so that uneventful hump day was just a waste of time and feelings of awkwardness....side note: he thought he was really doing something and had the nerve to tell everybody at school, and I had the nerve to think we really "did it".
But that was ions a go.
On the real, I would never wish a horrible sexual experience on anyone. The worst hump day of your life will always be a memory. It's so shame for you because you had to experience it and for the partner because he/she had to give it. I can say, since I had my horrible sexual experience, I finally understand the pressure men have had for years. For some reason I had the misconception that at the ripe age of 25, every man would have been on top of his shit. I thought the penis power that men posses at the mid 20's would have been at the pinnacle of full potential. I guess you can say there is always a rotten apple in the bunch. It was so bad...I'm waisting time writing this shit let me get to it...lol.
So it was my first year in NYC. Arriving from Houston, Texas, I was so excited. I was on top of my game, working as a personal shopper's assistant at Bergdorf Goodman, I really thought I was the shit. Nothing could ruin my New York Experience.
I was open to meet new people, not to mention the fact that I hadn't "done it" in like a year. New York is a funny place, cause' you never know who you'll meet. Everyone is from everywhere. Would I meet my "BIG" or "Aiden"? Could I inevitably get my "Sex and the City" on?The possibilities were endless. So a lesbian friend that I worked with hooked me up with this guy from LA, we'll call him Flaccid Fill. By the way, it's hard for me to have lesbian friends...I will save that story for next week....Anyway, we met at some spot and I thought he was kinda cute. Not really my type, but I felt like if I continued on this path of rejecting guys, I would never meet anyone that could possibly be the best penis ever. So after weeks of going out, he invited me to his apt.

.... NOW HERE ARE SURE FIRE SIGNS OF DISASTER....
TAKE NOTE AND LEARN

The Apt- In New York, looks are deceiving. Most apt buildings look like shit! You might be looking at some of the most expensive property and it looks like a nigga could easily be dead somewhere on the fourth floor. So, yeah, his apt building looked like crack, but I still had hope because we weren't in his apt. At least it had an elevator.....
The apartment was ok. It was not that clean...not my standards...but I'm coming in with an open mind...It's New York. So we eat some take out, watch a movie, crack a few jokes...you know shootin' the shit. It's late, I'm not getting on the train...and he wanted me to stay.

The Kiss- It's all my fault because I could have stopped it at that...but I was thirsty so I kept it going. We kissed and he seemed unsure of himself with that. He was kissing all fast but soft...it was weird. I'm a fan of a great kiss, a firm, not too wet, a little tongue action, sucking of the lips kind of kiss, not too fast, but not boring slow....that kiss was just awkward. I'm already like uggghh! But we kept it going.

The Foreplay- So when he finally caught on to the way I kissed, I'm thinking ok, maybe this wont be so bad... We were doing the "I wanna "do it" but don't wanna seem thirsty so I'm gonna take it easy kind of foreplay" which can be cool. I don't like jumping into things too fast, at least when I'm sober. Shit, this nigga acted like he was going down and then paused and said "I don't Go Down"...so I said..."I didn't ask you to"... I was tight because he even said that..."Didn't nobody push your head past my belly button, now you scared","Get off me!..." He rolled over looking all rejected. I just wanted to escape and go home, but it was like 2am....

This is so hard to write ya'll....lol

The "Did It" Part- I'm using the term "Did It" cause it was that junior-high school. So it's late and I'm thinking, is this the story of my life. I haven't "did it" in a whole year, and this is how I end my drought...tisk tisk...oh well...I knew he still wanted to "do it" cause he kept rubbing on my ass while I was sleep. So I "scooted" over. You know how we do. And from then on it was just a series of the whackest events that could have ever happened to a woman in life. First off I hate when guys have a soft ass, it's gross..."You don't work out"! Then he had the nerve to have all these stretch marks, and on top of that he was a slim guy... I'm saying to myself "E, save some of the integrity you have left and just run out right now....do it, do it before it's too late, do it now, before you give a pity fuck...aww bitch your gonna give him a pity fuck....what's wrong with YOU!" All I can say is I didn't give him the satisfaction of switching positions...lol. I just closed my eyes. I felt like Ceely..."He just get own top a' me...and do his business".
Flaccid Fill was not even doing his business.
That's what sucked. At least Mister gave it to her. Shit, I would have switched him out for Mister at that point. After that night, I felt violated... I felt violated because I gave him the time of day, I let him take a part of me that I knew I shouldn't have, and then didn't even make him feel like shit about it afterwards. He didn't deserve my scrutiny...let some other bitch act like she cares enough to even tell him how bad he was, Noooo my brotha.... not on my watch. Needless to say, I never called him again...SHAME! I guess that's why I'm telling the world. I know!...I've shamed you all....no,I have. I hope the men are reading....I pray they read this. I'm trying to stop horrible dick for everyone. Ladies spread the word! JUST SAY NO TO HORRIBLE DICK!

I Love you all!

Eddie Nicole

Maybe I Will Buy an Album This Year

Kevin Michael- From Philly

Rembrandt- The Warriors

I just got word from myself, that ya' girl might finally legally buy a whole album. Ya'll know there is no music worth buying these days other than old school throwbacks, and I still pirate those...that's neither here nor there
Meet Kevin Michael out of Philly. He's the latest R&B/Soul crooner from Atlantic Records. His album will be dropping in August. This song featuring Lupe Fiasco is on my new theshit list. I actually feel like I may buy an album this year, who knows. The sound is something we've been missing in black music since the whole male Neo Soul movement came and went (Bilal, D'Angelo, Ralpheal Saadiq). His sound and style is very hip and fresh. I know he looks like Rembrandt from The Warriors- that actually makes him even cooler in my opinion, but listen to his music and what he has to say. And Lupe just makes the song even more real, with his sexy skateboard kick pushin', bifocals wearin' ass!

Yummy, Yummy, Gumdrops!

We all want the same thing!


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All them mocha lattes, you gotta do Pilates + The Rev

Good morning, good afternoon, or good day depending on the time you're reading this. I have an announcement to make:
I feel it's time for us to step up our work-out plan. Honestly, I have been surprised to see more women of color in the gym working out more than ever before. Due to health reasons and stress, it's a definite priority. We're representing in the gym, so I give us mad Kudos for that.
Although working out for health reasons is great, aint' nothin like exercising and seeing the results. It feels so great when you try on a pair of your old favorite jeans and none of the annoying bulge hangs out. Better yet, when you try on anything fitted and you can see toned skin as opposed to the inevitable cellulite. To all my ladies who have picked up a few pounds and you need a push to get back in the gym, Here's inspiration:

I know it's Beyonce and everyone talks about how great she looks. It's not about her, it's about us. I remember when B was thick and a hamburger away....I know we can do it. Hit the gym ladies. Yeah, she has a trainer and eats meals that a pigeon probably wouldn't eat, but this is just inspiration. Beyonce did not always have this body. If you want to look fly and healthy, fine and sexy, it takes hard work. You have to work out at least 3 times a week, at least. And everyday do sit-ups and crunches, it really works. If you're gonna eat at fast food restaurants, eat the salad on the menu, I promise you will feel better about yourself when you see your friends eating those disgusting "mystery meat" hamburgers.
I've been working out for about a month 1/2 straight, and I'm seeing results. I would throw up a photo of how great I look, but I wouldn't wanna hurt ya'll like that...lol. Get off the couch and give your man something sexy to look at. And if you don't have a man, hitting the gym might increase your game.
I know it may seem shallow to put "B" up here, like she has the most bangin' body. But she kinda does. There's all kind of body types that are sexy, and you may not fit her category. But for myself, she is my inspiration.

That's right put in work
Move your ass, go bezerk
Eat your salad, no dessert
Get that man you deserve

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Rev
a.k.a Creflo Jr.



Did you all here about Mase with the transvestites? Supposedly he got into a fender bender with someone while trying to pick up male prostitutes on the popular gay "ho-stroll" on Spring Street, in Atlanta. I'm sure you can find this rumor on concreteloop. What the hell is going on? I thought he was a man of the cloth.
Anyway, I always wondered about Mase's preaching skills. So I did a google search and I found a few clips on youtube.
I don't like to pass judgment on anyone who's "trying" to do the right thing, but as you watch this listen carefully. Where in the hell did he get the southern accent? I know he went to school in Atlanta, but I thought he was from or at least lived in Harlem, NYC for a number of years. Am I wrong? We all know that anyone can jokingly imitate a New Yorker, but a true native of New York can never fake a southern accent, it's scientifically proven. The twang and the drawl is something they can't grasp. Maybe he's not a native. But, what's up with the preacher's tone? He reminds me of a Creflo Dollar...but not as original, if that makes any sense. It's one thing to be a servant of God and minister to people, but it's a problem when a preacher's sermon is constantly about how to be successful and up one's income...and then to throw in a faux stereotypical preacher's voice. It's was too much for me. But that's for another day....Don't really wanna get into religion. One more thing, do you believe Mase? As a Christian, I don't feel that I could take him seriously, but his congregation is so huge, I felt like I had to at least listen. Have any of you been to his church or know of anyone who's listened to him speak? What are your thoughts?

The Brotha Man Has the Plan....Understand!

How many of my 10 viewers (6 are friends) are into Poetry Slams? And if so, have you ever left feeling inspired and/or entertained? Other than watching random episodes of Def Poetry Jam when it was hosted by Mos Def and stepping out to an occasional poetry slam back in my undergrad, It has never impressed me...I guess I'm too cynical and sarcastic. But ya'll gotta feel me. Everyone's nodding heads and snapping...shouting to the poet "tell em girl!"... damn... Are we in church? I feel lame, like I'm being forced to participate. I like poetry and I can appreciate it in a card or in a book, but the live spoken word performances does nothing for me. I know... I can here you guys now, "Wow she's so insensitive". It's just, I have heard a lot of corny motherf#$%ers get on stage and try to get all sentimental and serious. Trying to make a local celebrity out of themselves by spittin' linguistic isms (lol...don't know what that means...just sounds right for this post)
There's the guy who can't really find a girl, so he gets on stage with his overly practiced performance of his ode' to sex and love. "My black beauty queen, this and that. The taste of your chocolate dripping into my mouth....." blah, blah, blah....like I said, cool on paper, but corny in person.
What about the my brotha's keeper poet? The one who gets on stage and gets mad at the crowd. He starts pointing in the crowd talking about how institutionalized the black nation is, defining the word "nigga"...got all the black folk who use the "n" word frequently (like myself) all uneasy ...making white folks feel all uncomfortable....that shit is comedy.
You got the black female poet with the all naturale' look...I call them "twig and berries", you know the ones who light incense and candles on stage, smelling like frankincense and myrrh, imagine Erykah Badu as a poet, naw she would kill it, but ya'll get the picture. I love my sistas and there powerful speeches of oppression and rising out of this chauvenistic society, but damn! Take it easy sweetheart! Some people just need to get laid...real good.
Can't forget our fellow brothers and sisters from another mother. The white folks are the worst. Most poetry slams garner large urban audiences, so they feel like this is there time to let us know that they understand the urban plight in America. Right!

I'm not trying to shit or hate on anyone's passion, but these are just my thoughts, and I know I'm not the only one. My friend brought this to my attention a long time a go, and I was always afraid to tell people how much a hated spoken word poetry in fear that I would be looked upon as an unintelligent derelict to black society. Thanks Aja, you gave me confidence to speak out.

Yesss...I feel so free...like the bird that flys high in the sky...overlooking the nation as we consistently prioritize our lives on jaded ideas and misconceptions about the next man, not realizing that the brotha man has the plan...cause it's all in HIS hands...HIS meaning the man upstairs...UNDERSTAND!!!

Didn't think so!

If you wanna check out sexy poetry that's not corny, go to my buddies site eclectik-relaxation
I can admit, I have enjoyed some poetry jam moments... here are a few poetry clips that I really enjoyed from Def Poetry Slam... I mean Jam (when Mos was hosting)

The Cool


The Inspirational


The Funny