Put a Twang of Salt on a Sweet Melon

Is it just me, or do black folks have a hard time being really black these days? When I say "really black", I am speaking of our natural non-vulnerable state.
So what society is telling me is that: Barak Obama can't be associated with another "angry black man", the word "nigga" has seen it's death, and eating watermelon and chicken around white folks is all together publicly unacceptable.
What are we afraid of? Our pastors have always talked about racial inequalities, maybe not as strong as Rev. White, but just as poignant. Blacks are usually not vulnerable during family time so eating chicken and watermelon and saying "nigga" and shit doesn't really matter...right?
The contemplation starts when we try to dress our shit up. We know we wanna eat watermelon and chicken....but we eat grapes and turkey breast instead. Why is that? Are we ashamed? or Maybe all the stereotypes have really impacted us.
I know the fried chicken thing can be unhealthy...but it's ok to eat it sometimes. The watermelon thing is really puzzling to me because I never see black folks eat it anymore. I love me some watermelon...so I could care less if I look like little sambo...especially if the watermelon is not too soft but sweet as honey! EEEwwww Weeeee Mane! (I've regressed)
Anyway.....
I remember while at work I ordered from this soul food spot. I had greens and the whole nine....and this pale lady came walking into the lunch area talking about "what's that strong bitter smell?". She knew what I was eating...and I did feel somewhat shamed.
Or...
you know how after any holiday such as, Easter, Christmas, or Thanksgiving, we love to bring a "plate" to work....Niggas be smellin' up the whole damn office...but the white folks bring Turducken and green bean casserole to work after the holidays and they're not sneakin' around corners trying to eat in peace.
And what the hell is Turducken?
Turducken is Turkey stuffed with duck stuffed with chicken, which is some ghetto shit anyway.

I feel Petey Green on this clip...sometimes you gotta just be you and not worry yourself with what others think. That goes for anyone. Sometimes I think we as blacks feel the pressure to assimilate than just be our natural shit talking, soul food eating, sunflower seed spitting selves...LMAO!
Next time, just put some TWANG on it and call it a day!
Peace and Blessings!
Think Twice Before you Answer!

WTF Tidbits: James Lipton

Before the host of Bravo's popular show "Inside the Actor's Studio", this man was very young and penniless. Ok, that's believable...we all had to struggle to come up, and I applaud him for his success.

But what ya'll don't know is that this man was a real PIMP in France.

Yes...none other than James Lipton, whose popularity grew after Will Ferrell's spoofs of him on SNL, would set up sex shows for clients for one of his lady friends.

"We were earning our living together, this young woman and I; we made a rather good living, I must say." amny.com

Can't hate the player or the game!

Real Talk

R. Kelly is wrong for this shit!



Wow, what can I say. So "ARRRA" has really steeped to new low levels(as if he couldn't get any lower). He's looking a little disheveled. Damn! Where are you Dave Chappelle? We need a spoof on this, actually he spoofed his damn self. This makes me kinda' sad. I can so hear Lisa Raye talkin' at the other end. Real Talk!!!

The Excited-O-Meter: The Movie Edition

I got this idea from Blender magazine.














EXTREME EXCITEMENT
American Gangster
Denzel Washington has yet again aroused the hood by bringing another gangster story back to Hollywood.
I recommend not going to any Magic Johnson Theaters because the lines are going to be crazy long. And you know how we love to talk through movies. Showing: November 12


EXCITED-ISH
30 Days of Night and Why Did I Get Married?


30 Days of Night- All Halloween lovers must be totally psyched (I know that was so 80's of me) about this movie. Being the horror movie lover october baby that I am...I can't help but get anxious about this thriller. I hope it doesn't let me down like 28 Weeks Later. This may be bootleg worthy....I don't know. Showing: 10/19





Why Did I Get Married- Hopefully bringing back the real black love stories and drama that had us feeling good during the Love Jones and The Best Man era. I'm feeling real good about the cast and this movie. I am definitely going to support it by not buying the bootleg.
Showing: Now 10/12






May Suck a Mean One-
Rather watch Martin DVD's all night.

Feel the Noise- The fact that it's produced by J-Lo further lets me know how this will be a waist of anyone's time. If I even hear of any one my friends or associates going to see this movie (which I won't because my people are cool)...our friendship will definitely be in question. Do we really need another HoneyYougotServedSavetheLastDance movie? I'd rather watch the dance scenes from The Last Dragon 50 times before seeing this one. Sorry O fans...this one will be a total dud! Showing: Who Cares?

Supahead on the Jaime Foxx Show

Ya'll must check out Supahead on the Jaime Foxxhole radioshow.
They are so off the chain!

They even get Tigger on the phone and talk about the gayness that he's supposed to be.

Click the link below

Jaime Foxx The Foxxhole

Crack Files: B*tch Pleazzzz-a!

Although I am not a fan of posting random homemade youtube clips. I thought this was crazy as hell. I haven't posted anything Crass on here in a while. How many times in a day do you say "Bitch Please"? I think I say it at least twice a day to at least two of my girlfriends. Those two words can mean so much in so many different ways, and our new friend below displayed this perfectly. Forget that he looks coked out and crazy, it is the way he says the second and third "Bitch Please", those are my favorites! This definitely will have a place in the Crack Files



Like every gay man, I am sure he has a stable of black and/or spanish girlfriends. He has the attitude with the head and everything. Biitch Pleeeazzz-a!

Awww Sh*t: It's Going Down! Jennifer Hudson stars in "Sex in the City"

Some major news has hit the media. I am so excited that "Sex in the City" will feature Lil Miss Effie White herself, Jennifer Hudson as Carrie's (SJP) assistant. Her name is Louise (Ooh I hope she's not soulful, the name sounds kind of homely..right!) I can't wait for this movie.
About time they decided to throw one of us in there. Damn! As much as I love me some Sex and this City, I always wondered why the Foursome never had any black girl associates or friends. The black chick, (who happened to be a very attractive cab driver by the way, how many cute black cab drivers do ya'll see in the city), who bought Carrie a hot dog after her book signing was the only black girl with a line a can remember. That shit didn't count to me, but I kept watching until the very end. I longed for Tracy Ellis Ross or Nia Long to have some kind of cameo appearance, but nope. Instead, they gave us fine ass Blair Underwood the role as Robert Leeds, the NBA doctor. Did ya'll catch any discrepancies with this? First of all, it's believable that a black NBA doctor would date a female of the other persuasion. But dating Miranda....I have a problem with that! Miranda is pale, she had that crooked tooth, and she was kind of fleshy and dorky. That relationship was never believable in my opinion. But, I totally love Miranda's character with her cynical attitude. Anyway, I am happy for J. Hud, I was getting kind of worried about her career, since her widely anticipated album got pushed back.

Black 20 yr old woman raped and tortured: Police suspecting it to be a Hate Crime

I know we post a lot about fashion and style. But I feel it is my duty to post horrific tales of racism from all demographics. It just seems that the media won't keep their ear to the street on what's important for us all to see and hear. America's not right and I hope that people will start to realize this. Thanks to concreteloop for posting this. I hope you all pass this story around.













Once again, I can't believe this. The Jenna 6, now this. Wake up America!

“Every time they stabbed her, they called her ‘nigger,’” her mother said.

But whatever the reason, Carmen Williams wants people to know what happened to her daughter. She agreed to talk to a reporter from her daughter’s room at Charleston Area Medical Center General Hospital.

She said a man and a woman — who Megan Williams thought were her friends — took her to the house of Frankie Lee Brewster in Pecks Mill, Logan County.

Megan Williams was held in the house for about a week, police said.

According to criminal complaints filed against six people in this case, she was beaten, stabbed, choked, sexually assaulted and threatened with death.

The details are even more horrible. According to the complaints, she was forced to eat dog and rat feces and to lick up blood. She was made to lick parts of Brewster’s body, under the threat of death. Her hair was pulled out. She was made to drink from the toilet. She was sexually assaulted while hot water was poured on her body, and while a man held a knife to her.

I don't understand. We gotta get the hell out of these small towns! For more of the story, click on the title of this post above and it will direct you to the full story. I will keep this family in my prayers.

"Yeah they deserve to die, and I Hope They Burn in Hell!"- Sam Jackson in A Time to Kill (that's just how I feel... I'm from Texas, can't help it)

Peace and Blessings,

Eddie Nicole

Kanye West is Really The Louis Vuitton Don

Kanye West album cover

Takashi Murakami

Murakami Bag

What does Murakami and Kanye West have in common other than helping trend-set Louis Vuitton handbags?

Well, expect colorful packaging and design for Kanye's new album, Graduation, designed by the bag man himself, Takashi Murakami. Kanye left no stone unturned for this highly anticipated album. Takashi's art can sell for as much as $425,000. It pays to have people in high places!

So Black Hair is an Issue...Well at least at Glamour Magazine!

So that's why it's so hard to break into the white world of publishing. Thanks Beauty Editor lady at Glamour, at least I have answers.

I'm not gonna get all teary eyed about this issue. My girls and I already knew the "hush, hush" views towards black girls and their hair styles from the corporate Caucasian sector. It's so lame that this has even come up, but it is reality. For some reason, I truly believed that my natural hair really didn't matter, especially in NYC. I've been going to interviews with top publishing firms feeling real confident about myself and it's sad to actually think that maybe I didn't get the job because some superficial loser overlooked my qualifications for my "political-powertothepeople" hair style. Damn, aint that a bitch!
Let me save up to buy a Chi so I can assimilate to white America! This same issue happened to my mother about 15 years a go. She was a sales exec at Fedex and they told her to take her ethnic braids out after she had already spent nearly $200. My mother was so tight! But what could she do? She had 2 kids to feed. Let me stop before I get upset...lets talk about it!! I expect some good posts about this topic.

The Story- So apparently the Junior Beauty Editor over at Glamour decided to give a group of lawyers including African American women advice on Corporate Fashion etiquette
Here's what the junior editor said to the law firm:

"First slide up: an African American woman sporting an Afro. A real no-no, announced the 'Glamour' editor to the 40 or so lawyers in the room. As for dreadlocks: How truly dreadful! The style maven said it was 'shocking' that some people still think it 'appropriate' to wear those hairstyles at the office. 'No offense,' she sniffed, but those 'political' hairstyles really have to go."

LMAO- she wanted to lose her job. I'm sure all 5 sista's at Conde Nast are calling for her resignation right now!

Faux Paux for Danny

I was gonna put this in the Debacles sidebar but I feel that D'Angelo should get some extra days of face time before I do another search of fashion faux pauxs. Danny was and still is one of my favorite America's Next Top model winners. I know she's on her paper chase and everything, but what in the Dress Barn Hell is going on in her world. With her new found celebrity and modeling skills, why would Wilhemenia allow her to do this? Yuck and Gross!! Speak up Girl! You got fans and shit!
I know we've been lax on the fashion post, but don't fret my pet, fashion week and the fall season is right around the corner and we will definitely be in attendance or stuntin from the sidelines. Hey! MAKE IT WORK!!

Ohhh the Pageantry!

This goes out to one of my close friends, Crystle Stewart, for having one of the best thank you speeches for a pageant and also standing strong in faith. I never gave her a deserved Congratulations! So I am going to make it known to all 10 people who read this blog. I also wanted to make fun of Miss Carolina. It's not right, because this was actually I hard question to answer, but she totally flunked this question. Poor Thing! But Crystle makes it look so easy. Love you girl! Mo City in the House! Next Miss USA!

Watch carefully for the "Thank You Jesus"

I totally felt that "Thank You Jesus", because I felt the same way when I...finally....got....a....job...yeah baby!. You know black folks will always thank the MAN!

But over in the Carolina's.....(Listen for the crickets)


And such as, South Africa, and the Asian countries.....such as...sit your ass down! Make sure you watch AC Slater's grin towards the end. He wanted to laugh...I know he did.

Market Value

Hey guys and gals! I know we have been lax in current post, but life has really kicked it up a notch for all of us and we are all now working on cool new endeavors. As you all know, I was recently a contributing style editor for this new online magazine, well now I've been upgraded to Editor at Large. Things are moving kind of slow at CAUGHT, but I just want to make sure that we are delivering the best work possible...so stay tuned for future issues. I knew I should have kept my big mouth shut with all my cool new ideas! Anyway, God has my steps ordered and I can actually get a feel for where my journey is going. You know how sometimes you want to do something in life so bad, but it just kind of never works out...or you get so close to what you thought was that "dream" position, but it didn't quite work out. And still for whatever reason, you have it in you to keep pushing. I guess you call it FAITH or wishful thinking.
Sometimes you just want something so bad and you want it now, but HE only gives you a taste in doses because you may not be entirely ready to digest the big meal HE has waiting for you. I think of it as a rationing of blessings. I know if I were presented with everything I wanted in life as far as a career and success all laid out on a table right now, I would probably go nuts and exhaust all my fruition from my labors. I might make irresponsible decisions due to my delusions of grandeur and in return not take advantage of the blessings given unto me.
My friend asked me this question...What are you worth? At first I didn't get it...like who really sits and thinks about what they're worth. Can you even ad value to your own self?
She further elaborated...."Remember reading about African slaves being put up for bids during the slave auctions?" This opened up a whole new dialog for me, therefore I want to share this with whoever is reading.
If you were big and strong you were worth this, If you were old and feeble you were worth that... The white folks and even some African "Bendedict Arnolds" thought blacks were worth $200 to over a $1,000 during slavery. If you think about your current salary and who you're working for, that same mentality has not changed.
If you're a black man with an Ivy League degree your worth this....and if you're a black woman with a master's you're worth that...If you didn't go to college your worth this...and so on...

I kind of got off task with this question but it just popped into my head at 10:55 am. What are you worth? Think about all your talents, strengths, and knowledge. If you were doing what you wanted to do as a career, what would you pay yourself, honestly? Are we really using our God given talents to our full capabilities? And if so, are we paying ourselves or Are we settling and just getting paid?

Getting paid and paying yourself are totally different!

Peace and Blessings,

Eddie Nicole

Suck A Mean One Old Man!

So David Banner basically told a senior citizen to give him fellatio on a nationally syndicated website. Wow...that really says a lot for the hip-hop generation that Banner is such an advocate for. I'm sick of the whole hip-hop tirades..blah, blah, blah. But what's even more shame is that David later responded back after Al's initial response to the d*ck sucking comment, and took a more respectful approach by writing this letter. The letter makes some valid points...but most of the content shows a lack of responsibility from a grown ass 30plus, big college educated dude....What's shame is that the d*ck comment totally cancels out anything profound he has to say. You can't tell someone to suck a mean one and then try to kick knowledge after the fact...Negroe Please!
One line really stuck out to me: "You don’t scold your child in public without fair warning! ", meaning the elders, i.e. Oprah, Russel Simmons, and Rev. Sharpton, should not call out the youth in public without consoling them first...WTF!!
Well I don't know how David grew up, but I wish my mother warned me before she laid down the law..maybe I could have gotten a head start run before I got clowned in a public...I'm just saying!
I just feel that David disrespected himself by demeaning his own people...no matter how hard he disagrees and disapproves of the permed-out-Reverend...you can't tell a Sr. Citizen to go down on you...that's just rude!

Black College Kids Murdered Execution Style: $50,000 Reward is being offered for info on the killers

NEWARK, New Jersey In a city where the murder rate has risen 50 percent since 1998, three promising College students were murdered execution style in a playground on Saturday.

Their names: Dashon Harvey, 20, Terrance Aeriel, 18, Iofemi Hightower, 20. There was also a fourth victim who police say survived the gunshot wound to the head. Natasha Aeriel, 19 (Terrance’s older sister) is said to be in fair condition at the hospital.

An apparent robbery attempt by several assailants made the four the latest victims in this city where the murder rate has risen 50 percent since 1998.

Police said three were forced to kneel against a wall and shot at close range; a fourth was wounded.

The killings bring Newark's murder total for the year to 60, and put pressure on Mayor Cory A. Booker, who campaigned last year on a promise of reducing crime.

Mayor Corey Booker

"He doesn't deserve another day, another second, while our children are at stake," Donna Jackson, president of the community-based Take Back Our Streets organization, said Monday at a news conference in front of City Hall.

"Anyone who has children in the city is in panic mode. It takes something like this for people to open up their eyes and understand that not every person killed in Newark is a drug dealer.

At a news conference, Booker said it was a time for unity and "not a time to play politics and divide our city."

Killed were Terrance Aeriel, 18, Iofemi Hightower, 20, and Dashon Harvey, 20. Aeriel's 19-year-old sister, Natasha, was listed in fair condition at Newark's University Hospital after being shot in the head. She was found about 30 feet from her friends, slumped near some bleachers.

Authorities were assembling details of the crime from witnesses including Natasha Aeriel, but had not made any arrests by late Monday night.

We at VP keeps the families of the victims on our prayers!

Peace and Blessings,

Eddie Nicole